IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Space exploration costs tax payers an exorbitant amount of money each year.What are the advantages and disadvantage of spending money on space exploration?

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It is believed that individuals are paying
extravagent
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extravagant
 capital
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 to the government so that exploring
space
Use synonyms
 can be achieved.
This
Linking Words
 essay will highlight both the advantages and disadvantages of
space
Use synonyms
 research in the
Correct your spelling
subsequent
susbequent
Correct your spelling
subsequent
 paragraphs The main advantage of
space
Use synonyms
 programs is that scientists can study the atmosphere of
universe
Add an article
the universe
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 outside the Earth for future life
possibility
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possibilities
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. Since the advent of technology,
spacecrafts
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spacecraft
 and rockets with satellites fitted in them are being sent to other planets to investigate the minerals present on the surface for the
humanrace's
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human race's
 benefit .
For instance
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, India recently sent Chandrayan 3
on
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to
show examples
 the moon and its Pragyan rover collected numerous samples of soil and sent extremely useful data about minerals and
possibility
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the possibility
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 of water back to the Earth.
Furthermore
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, the invention of
navigation
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the navigation
a navigation
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 system is a result of
space
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 research.
For example
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, GPS is a
satellite based
Add a hyphen
satellite-based
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 radio navigation system which has made travelling the World exceptionally effortless.
Therefore
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, travelling to
space
Use synonyms
 has not only increased the probability of life on the Moon
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 the navigation system is serving a great purpose. Despite the benefits, the floating debris in the universal
space
Use synonyms
 is polluting the
surrounding
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surroundings
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 of the Universe is the major
drawbacks
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drawback
show examples
. In 2007,
Correct article usage
the chinese
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chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
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 government tested their
missle
Correct your spelling
missile
 and smashed their older climate
statellite
Correct your spelling
satellite
satellites
 in 1500000 pieces which are now aimlessly floating in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, NASA has named the lower earth's orbit a 'graveyard' as there are
thousand
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thousands
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tons
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of tons
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 of leftover
of
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apply
show examples
satellites.
Apart from
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this
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, huge funds used for these
space
Use synonyms
 shuttles are arranged at the cost of impoverished people's needs. If the
space
Use synonyms
 program of a developing nation
would fail
Wrong verb form
fails
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, the country will try again to
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 a new
sattelite
Correct your spelling
satellite
 to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success which in turn is done by compromising the schemes made for
underprivlileged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
 families.
Hence
Linking Words
, the more
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money is spent on aerospace, the lesser the needs of
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
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 would
meet
Wrong verb form
be met
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it can be inferred that no doubt, galaxy exploration is advantageous as it has increased the life probability on the Moon
along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 the ease in finding the routes is due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 invention of GPS.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, its disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as the polluting environment of
space
Use synonyms
 and the hefty amount used in these satellites
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 hampering the necessities of poor individuals.

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, try to make smoother transitions between paragraphs. Introducing a short, clear sentence that neatly summarizes the preceding paragraph and links to the next could help.
Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, providing a more balanced discussion on the advantages and disadvantages by allocating similar lengths to each part could improve clarity and completeness. Remember, balance does not necessarily mean equal lengths, but equal depths of discussion.
General
To avoid minor inaccuracies and improve your writing, always proofread your essay. This could help in catching any typographical errors or inconsistencies, such as 'extravagent capital amount' which could be improved to 'exorbitant amount of capital'.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and structure, inviting the reader into the discussion.
Supported Main Points
You provided specific examples to support your points, like Chandrayaan 3 mission and the GPS navigation system, which significantly strengthens your arguments.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay by reflecting on both the advantages and disadvantages discussed, which showcases good task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exorbitant
  • tax payers
  • technological advancement
  • scientific knowledge
  • economic growth
  • national prestige
  • long-term survival
  • financial investment
  • pressing needs
  • risk to human life
  • environmental concerns
  • space debris
  • immediate returns
  • allocation of resources
  • aerospace
  • engineering
  • habitable planets
  • breakthroughs
  • fuel industries
  • inspire
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