IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Computer and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education.Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

#computer #technology #education #intelligence #development
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State of the art
Add a hyphen
State-of-the-art
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technology
are
Change the verb form
is
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 increasingly being utilized for online classes.
This
 writer argues that artificial intelligence can improve the studying experience
due to
 online
education
.
In addition
, it
also
 brings
to
Change preposition
apply
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 benefit
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that
students
 can learn more interestingly. It must be understood that using
technology
 in
education
 can help
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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allows
Wrong verb form
allow
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students
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
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 a personal study plan for online classes.
This
 means a plan can be tailored
for
Change preposition
to
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 each individual student’s needs.
Consequently
, a student
distract
Wrong verb form
distracted
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 in the classroom can do extra study in the evening to allow him or her
catch
Fix the infinitive
to catch
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 up with their classmates.
For example
,
students
 in America usually take part in online
education
for acquiring
Change preposition
to acquire
show examples
 more knowledge and do
a
Correct article usage
apply
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research lessons more thoughtfully. Another appointment
must
Correct pronoun usage
that must
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 be considered
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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technology
 can make lessons more interesting and attractive. In the present school, the teachers can provide images, video clips or some quiz games in order to attract and persuade their
students
.
Therefore
, they will help
students
 entertain and create
active
Add an article
an active
the active
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 atmosphere so that avoid sleeping of
students
 during lectures.
Consequently
, artificial intelligence
technology
 can help
students
 will be
associate
Replace the word
associated
show examples
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 studying.
For instance
, the universities in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Singapore always try to make interesting
lecture
Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
show examples
 for their
students
.
Thus
, they will pay attention carefully and acquire more new knowledge easily. Taking all points into account,
it is clear that
 artificial intelligence can improve and develop effectively.
Moreover
, it
also
 has a positive impact on
education
due to
 an
enhance
Change the form of the verb
enhanced
show examples
 learning experience.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are clearly separated and that ideas flow naturally from one to the next for better readability.
coherence cohesion
Review punctuation rules to ensure your writing is grammatically correct, enhancing clarity and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Integrate a wider variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and demonstrate your linguistic range.
task achievement
Clarify your position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
To support your arguments more effectively, include more diverse and specific examples from credible sources.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of ideas by expanding on your points with more depth and analysis.
task achievement
Your essay touches on important aspects of how AI can improve the learning experience, showing a good grasp of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have made a clear effort to structure your essay, with an attempt to build an argument with supporting examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • adaptive learning
  • learner's pace
  • AI-driven analytics
  • targeted instruction
  • interactive content
  • virtual reality
  • automate
  • administrative tasks
  • human interaction
  • social skills
  • data privacy
  • over-reliance
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
What to do next:
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