IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Computer and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education.Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

#computer #technology #education #intelligence #development
State-of-the-art
technology
 is increasingly being utilized for online classes.
This
 writer argues that artificial intelligence can improve the studying experience
due to
 online
education
.
In addition
, it
also
 brings
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 benefit
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
students
 can learn more interestingly. It must be understood that using
technology
 in
education
 can help
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
allows
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
students
 to make a personal study plan for online classes.
This
 means a plan can be tailored
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each individual student’s needs.
Consequently
, a student distracted in the classroom can do extra study in the evening to allow him or her to catch up with their classmates.
For example
,
students
 in America usually take part in online
education
 to acquire more knowledge and do research lessons more thoughtfully. Another appointment
must
Correct pronoun usage
that must
show examples
 be considered is that
technology
 can make lessons more interesting and attractive. In the present school, the teachers can provide images, video clips or some quiz games in order to attract and persuade their
students
.
Therefore
, they will help
students
 entertain and create an active atmosphere so that avoid sleeping of
students
 during lectures.
Consequently
, artificial intelligence
technology
 can help
students
 will be associated with studying.
For instance
, the universities in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Singapore always try to make interesting lectures for their
students
.
Thus
, they will pay attention carefully and acquire more new knowledge easily. Taking all points into account,
it is clear that
 artificial intelligence can improve and develop effectively.
Moreover
, it
also
 has a positive impact on
education
due to
 an enhanced learning experience.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary
To enhance your essay, try to include a wider range of vocabulary specifically related to technology and education.
Examples
Provide more specific and varied examples. Expanding on the examples given with more detailed outcomes could improve the argument's persuasion.
Structure
Consider refining your essay's structure by adding a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction, summarizing your main arguments, and ensuring a cohesive flow between paragraphs.
Argument strength
You've made a strong case for the value of artificial intelligence in education, clearly identifying potential benefits.
Use of examples
You successfully used examples from America and Singapore to support your points, which helped ground your argument in real-world contexts.
Organization
Good job in organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a different aspect of how AI can improve education.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • adaptive learning
  • learner's pace
  • AI-driven analytics
  • targeted instruction
  • interactive content
  • virtual reality
  • automate
  • administrative tasks
  • human interaction
  • social skills
  • data privacy
  • over-reliance
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: