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Band 6

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
We live in an age when in many countries rural
people
 mostly like to live in the
cities
,
for
Correct word choice
and for
show examples
this
 reason,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in the countryside decreased rapidly. From my personal standpoint, it is a positive development
due to
 the issues outside the
cities
. First of all, it is worth considering the reason for residents moving from the villages to the city. These days,
cities
 are developing rapidly. New modern buildings are appearing and the are
also
 a
lot
 of entertainment centres like parks, cinemas, etc.
Therefore
, it is more absorbing for rural
people
due to
 the new apartments, chances and new environments. For humans, it is much more comfortable to live in
cities
. There are a
lot
 of restaurants and stores.
Also
, children can study at school and get a higher education in universities. There are a
lot
 of chances for visitors and tourists, a
lot
 of interesting places to visit. Another factor to consider is the lack of space. Actually, the states are working on it.
However
, the places of residence are highly expensive and not every person can afford them.
Also
, living in the countryside is quite problematic. The main problem is salaried; humans living there have indecent salaries.
While
 governments are thinking about new buildings and businesses, villagers do have not enough water.
Nevertheless
, not every child can study in a school because there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not enough space and schools at all.
Hence
,
this
 is exactly what I think the government should pay attention to. In conclusion,weighing up both sides of the argument, rural
people
 are moving to the
cities
 with the hope of a successful life, but unfortunately, for some
people
, it is difficult to find good contact with citizens.
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Task Achievement
Ensure that examples are more specific and relevant to further illuminate the points made. This will strengthen the task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you can enhance logical progression by improving the transitions between the ideas discussed in each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, which is a key strength.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the task by discussing both the positive perspective and potential difficulties regarding urban migration.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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