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Writing Samples /
Band 7

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers
In
this
 era, numerous people take some academic
subjects
 in universities,
whereas
 many claim that we should absorb them into some technical courses because of a lack of forced
workers
 like electricians and plumbers. I agree with
this
 theory because the speed of development of a
country
 will be increased dramatically. On the one hand, high salaries for academic majors are one of the impact factors in a lack of force
workers
. On the other, with some technical work, countries will progress faster. First of all, many big companies employ those who have different academic degrees like PhD and Master’s and those people have a high salary. So students are encouraged to study academic
subjects
, and it has a negative development because time and money are wasted on long-lasting that the
country
 faces a huge number of job vacancies,
therefore
 the speed of growth will be levelled off.
In addition
, the
country
 is constructed by people’s varied job occupations, which means we do not more academic experts we just want those who work in different aspects of work like technicians, electricians, plumbers and so on. Ultimately, we should encourage people to choose some majors which are more hands-on.
However
, many opine that the students should just choose academic
subjects
. They think if a
country
 has more experts in academic studies like mathematics, physics, accounting, and so on, the
country
 will experience more improvement. I think it is wrong. These days, many hands-on
workers
 are in demand but we do not have forced
workers
 for them because their salaries might be lower.
Although
 experts make some schemes for the advancement of the infrastructure of the
country
, those schemes are done spotless by
workers
 who have knowledge of volcanic
subjects
. In conclusion, those who study in academic major are not necessarily useful, from my point of view we should encourage communities to do technical training because they are more effective in improvement of countries.
Submitted by dayansabet on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure helps in maintaining logical flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to state the main point. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Aim for a balance in your argument by discussing both views if the prompt asks for discussion. Even if you agree with one side, acknowledging the other side strengthens your position.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. General statements are less persuasive than examples that clearly illustrate your argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of phrases and ideas to improve the readability and coherence of your essay. Instead, aim to develop your points further with each sentence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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