Modern technology is now very common in workplaces. How do you think this has changed the way we work. Do you there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?
Technology
is modernizing the work
environment, which has transformed how people
work
through increased productivity. However
, depending too much on technology
leads to a lack of interation
between Correct your spelling
interaction
integration
people
and the loss innovation
.
It must be understood that cutting-edge Change preposition
of innovation
technology
supports umans
through automation. Correct your spelling
humans
This
is because it helps reduce the time and workload required to complete tasks. To illustrate this
point, consider doctors or nurses in hospitals where technology
prepares prescriptions automatically, thus
, giving them more time to complete more pratical
tasks. Correct your spelling
practical
Therefore
, making the process more productive.
Conversely
, this
tendency could have negative consequences in terms of work
life. It should be self-evident that users are obsessedwith
using technological devices, so they do not interact with their colleagues. Correct your spelling
obsessed with
Consequently
, this
can worsen the relationship and disconnect a whole organization, which is the main factor leading to many enterprises' falling.
It should also
be recognized that employees rely too much on high-tech devices. Their brain will gradually lose their thinking ability, so whenever it comes to creativity, it is a big challenge for all employees. In this
situation, it is not difficult to see why more people
try to copy other work
for their achievement. At
a result, Change preposition
As
this
could impact product quality and future unnovations
from Correct your spelling
innovations
renovations
people
.
Thusm
high-tech devices play a vital role in a working environment, promoting Correct your spelling
Thus
productivit
. Correct your spelling
productivity
By contrast
, relying on this
technology
makes people
more socially passive and lazy to pick up new ideas.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Overall
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, effectively demonstrating how technology impacts workplaces. To improve, consider revising for minor grammatical errors and ensuring variation in sentence structures to enhance readability.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've successfully structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance cohesion, aim to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to more smoothly connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
You've provided relevant examples to support your arguments, effectively illustrating your points. To further strengthen your essay, ensure that each example is directly linked to your main argument with clear explanatory sentences.
Insight
Effectively demonstrated the impact of technology on workplaces through clear and comprehensive ideas.
Structure
Structured the essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Examples
Provided relevant examples to support arguments, illustrating the points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.