IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

At the present time, many people prefer to conversation with each other by using social networks and phone to call them because of this traditional aspects of communication are becoming smaller today. Majority of individuals imagine that this is reducing people's ability to interface correctly when they are meeting in person in real life. From my point of view, I agree that people need to associate in real life without internet.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
At the present time, many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to
conversation
Replace the word
converse
show examples
 with each other by using social networks and phone to call
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
because of
this
Linking Words
 traditional aspects of communication are becoming smaller today.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of individuals imagine that
this
Linking Words
 is reducing
people
Use synonyms
's ability to interface correctly when they are meeting in person in real life. From my point of view, I agree that
people
Use synonyms
 need to associate in real life without
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. Nowadays, we are living in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 world where
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
technology is well-developed and it
creat
Correct your spelling
creates
show examples
 perfect conditions for individuals to communicate by using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media without a personal meeting. When humans are messaging together, they will not be able to show each other their real emotions, as in real communication. Many
people
Use synonyms
 send notes to their partners without hesitation or can ask some questions and they can communicate easily without seeing each other,
this
Linking Words
 will suit them.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, when they see each other in person they cannot communicate without hesitation like online. Because they are used to communicating via the Internet and when they meet, it will be awkward for them to talk to each other on various topics that interest them.
However
Linking Words
, if individuals need to communicate urgently, but they can not meet together, in
such
Linking Words
 cases, they will need the media or call them on the phone to talk faster. It can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
help interface faster each other everywhere and
every
Change preposition
at every
show examples
 time.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad but their relatives live in another country they cannot meet together in real life every day.
Therefore
Linking Words
, social sites help them communicate and meet via digital conservation and
net
Correct article usage
the net
show examples
. In conclusion, many
people
Use synonyms
 would like
associate
Fix the infinitive
to associate
show examples
 via networks, forgetting how to talk better face to face. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 we need to talk
each
Change preposition
to each
show examples
 other frequently
that do
Verb problem
and
show examples
 not forget how better spend time with
partners
Correct pronoun usage
our partners
show examples
 in person.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Ensure your essay is clearly structured with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay successfully adheres to this structure.
Coherence
To enhance coherence, improve the transitions between your sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'However', 'In contrast' to better guide the reader through your argument.
Grammar & Style
Proofreading your essay for minor grammatical errors and improving sentence variation can significantly enhance the readability and professionalism of your writing.
Task Response
To fully respond to the task, closely examine both sides of the argument. After presenting each side, ensure to include your personal stance clearly and why you hold that opinion, supported by specific examples.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, which helps frame your discussion and provides a neat summation of your views.
Content Relevance
Your essay presents a well-considered perspective on the importance of face-to-face communication, highlighting a relevant contemporary issue.
Example Usage
You provided examples and reasons for why digital communication can be both beneficial and limiting, which supports your main points convincingly.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: