Some people think that the sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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There is an argument that children should be encouraged to participate in competitions
nevertheless
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, others assume that raising a kid in the spirit of teamwork makes them more fruitful than the first group and I assume that working together is more beneficial for the community. As a matter of fact, competing with other individuals gives
people
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a sense of power and pride
thus
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these senses are considered as motivation for doing tasks and duties.
In addition
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, the more victory
people
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gain the more confident they become.
For example
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, for a long period of time educational system has utilized
this
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feature to motivate students to study.
Also
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, numerous exams and competitions which are held annually are designed based on the same idea of contending and the successfulness of
this
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method can be seen yet.
People
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who are trained
by
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in
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cooperation methods have a tendency for teamwork, they achieve their goals quicker than others who tend to work alone.
Furthermore
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, these individuals do not hurt their coworkers or relatives to go up and progress because they assume that they are enough and they realize that all
people
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have their own capabilities and they should do their own part.
Therefore
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, they are able to live in peace with others and be a more efficient individual for their society.
To sum up
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, the sense of competition gives
people
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’s ability to orient their potential for more productivity. I again reaffirm that I presume that children who are trained to be functional members of a group are more influential for their society in their adulthood.
Submitted by justpersia20414 on

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example
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introduction conclusion
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, presenting your opinion clearly.
logical structure
Your essay's structure facilitates understanding, showing logical progression of ideas.
task response
You've shown an ability to discuss both views and provide a clear opinion, meeting the task requirements well.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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