Some people think that the sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

There is an argument that children should be encouraged to participate in competitions
nevertheless
, others assume that raising a kid in the spirit of teamwork makes them more fruitful than the first group and I assume that working together is more beneficial for the community. As a matter of fact, competing with other individuals gives
people
a sense of power and pride
thus
these senses are considered as motivation for doing tasks and duties.
In addition
, the more victory
people
gain the more confident they become.
For example
, for a long period of time educational system has utilized
this
feature to motivate students to study.
Also
, numerous exams and competitions which are held annually are designed based on the same idea of contending and the successfulness of
this
method can be seen yet.
People
who are trained
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
cooperation methods have a tendency for teamwork, they achieve their goals quicker than others who tend to work alone.
Furthermore
, these individuals do not hurt their coworkers or relatives to go up and progress because they assume that they are enough and they realize that all
people
have their own capabilities and they should do their own part.
Therefore
, they are able to live in peace with others and be a more efficient individual for their society.
To sum up
, the sense of competition gives
people
’s ability to orient their potential for more productivity. I again reaffirm that I presume that children who are trained to be functional members of a group are more influential for their society in their adulthood.
Submitted by justpersia20414 on

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example
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introduction conclusion
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logical structure
Your essay's structure facilitates understanding, showing logical progression of ideas.
task response
You've shown an ability to discuss both views and provide a clear opinion, meeting the task requirements well.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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