In some countries, some high school leavers choose to work or travel for a period of time before going to university. Discuss the disadvantages and advantages of these school leavers’ decisions and give your opinion.

#countries #school #leavers #work #travel #period #time #university #leavers’ #decisions

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, in different

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

of the world, some graduates choose to

work

Use synonyms

or take a trip for a period of

time

Use synonyms

before going to

university

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

action has some benefits for students, in my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

opinion,

show examples

the drawbacks outweigh the positive aspects. There are some reasons why new high

school

Use synonyms

leavers need to

work

Use synonyms

or travel.

Firstly

Linking Words

, they need some

time

Use synonyms

to prepare for new challenges in the future which is crucial for them to spend their

time

Use synonyms

by working or going to travel. Another imperative factor is that they have to open their mind before going to

university

Use synonyms

because it is important for them to not be tired and

also

Linking Words

they have to acquire lots of new subjects at

university

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, these reasons can be overlooked when we compare with the negative aspects of

this

Linking Words

action.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some important measures that can be taken by high

school

Use synonyms

leavers before they are ready to go to

university

Use synonyms

. it is necessary for them to

work

Use synonyms

on their lessons and review them after graduating from

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

school

Use synonyms

because if they do not study before going to

university

Use synonyms

, they will waste a chunk of their

time

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they might make themselves tired and busy by working and travelling before entering

university

Use synonyms

which will

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

ample

impacts

Fix the agreement mistake

impact

show examples

during their courses. All things considered,

while

Linking Words

they

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

are some positive points for high

school

Use synonyms

leavers to decide to

work

Use synonyms

or travel before going to

university

Use synonyms

, there are myriad problems for

this

Linking Words

phenomenon.

Submitted by arman802001 on Wed Apr 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've structured your essay well with a clear opinion, which is great! To further enhance coherence, try to make smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas.

Task Achievement

To improve the depth of your task response, include more specific examples and details for both sides of the argument. This adds richness to your discussion and supports your viewpoints more convincingly.

Language

Consider varying your sentence structures and incorporating more complex grammatical forms. This not only enhances readability but also shows a stronger command of the language.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your discussion and opinion. Well done!

Balance in Argument

You've done a good job of presenting both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
“The best way to learn English is to study with native teachers.” What do you think about this opinion? State your point and give reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is argued that to study English efficiently one should seek tutors who speak English as the first tongue. While others believe that it is equally beneficial to be taught under teachers whom English is not their first language. Moreover, foreign teachers will have a better understanding of the challenges one need to overcome to be fluent in English. However, I strongly disagree with the latter opinion. This forthcoming essay will discuss why I believe that being taught English by people who are originally from countries that have English as their first language.
6
band
In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. What are the reasons? Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Due to the hectic lifestyles,it has been observed that in several nations,individuals plan to have babies not immediately after the marriage but instead prefer it after a gap of certain years.This trend has been followed because of the enormous reasons that I would like to explicate in the first paragraphs.However,I profoundly assert that its pros are more in comparison with its pons and I would like to cast light on my views in the upcoming paragraphs.
6.5
band
In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?
In some areas of the US, curfews are imposed on teenagers, restricting them from being outdoors at night unless accompanied by an adult. While such measures aim to reduce crime and protect young people, I believe they have both benefits and drawbacks. In my opinion, curfews can be effective in certain contexts but should not be seen as a one-size-fits-all solution.
7
band
When people live in a foreign country, they should follow local traditions and customs. Do you agree or not?
Given the pivotal role of identity and roots, the question of whether or not people should hold on to their own countries' traditions wherever they go. One common perspective that many people, myself included, advocate is that it is necessary to adhere to the culture and tradition of the nation they are living in.
5
band
The advent of the internet has revolutionized education in unprecedented ways. It has opened up new avenues for learning, enabling students and professional alike to access a wealth of information from the comfort of their homes.
The advent of the internet has revolutionized education in unprecedented ways. It has opened up new avenues for learning, enabling students and professional alike to access a wealth of information from the comfort of their homes. Online courses, digital libraries, and virtual classroom have become commonplace, democratizing education by making it more accessible to people around the world. In my opinion, while there are challenges associated with online education, such as the lack of face-to-face interaction and the potential for distraction, the benefits far outweigh the drawback.

In some countries, some high school leavers choose to work or travel for a period of time before going to university. Discuss the disadvantages and advantages of these school leavers’ decisions and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

“The best way to learn English is to study with native teachers.” What do you think about this opinion? State your point and give reasons and examples to support your answer.

In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. What are the reasons? Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

When people live in a foreign country, they should follow local traditions and customs. Do you agree or not?

The advent of the internet has revolutionized education in unprecedented ways. It has opened up new avenues for learning, enabling students and professional alike to access a wealth of information from the comfort of their homes.