Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for few months of years )for they have time to do other things. Do you the advantage outweigh disadvantages?
A group of people consider participating in temporary
work
and just spend several months in their position to have time for other tasks. I think this
approach is not very beneficial because they will not be able to develop their job completely and they might face money
problems.
To begin
with, occupation is essential to our daily lives because it can put food on our tables, some citizens consider part-time jobs as a positive point, however
, it has drawbacks, such
as remaining at the same level and shortage of money
. As a worker, any individual has their own responsibilities and when they finished completely that person
might have a chance for promotion but as a temporary employee the manager will not consider that person
for a better position because he/she knows that soon or late need a new person
for replacement, as a result
, the salary and work
difficulties will stay stable. Additionally
, good pay is not accessible in lower job states, for example
, waiter most companies consider the lowest pay in the country and they will not provide an opportunity for improvement, so as a short-term worker is challenging to earn good money
and that person
if did not have enough investment in the long-term, would deal with money
difficulty.
On the other hand
, working as an occasional employee may provide some opportunities to focus on his/her talents, in addition
, they can be more healthy because they have time to consider their body and mental health as a first priority, however
, these options could be provided if an individual try to establish a well work
-life balance program and they can easily think about all their needs. For instance
, there are a great number of firefighters and managers who have to work
long hours but at the end
of the day, they manage their time in the most effective way.
In conclusion, this
view that said people have to work
seasonally to be able to achieve their goals is not beneficial, in my opinion, the drawbacks completely outweigh the positive points, because ,that population cannot access high-rise jobs and they might face money
problems also
they can provide a well-designed plan to achieve their goals.Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on
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Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. While you provided clear viewpoints on the disadvantages of temporary jobs, integrating more specific examples or statistics could enhance your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and transitions for better flow. Use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, and employ linking words effectively to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on the advantages of temporary jobs to provide a more balanced argument. This will not only strengthen your essay's task response but also demonstrate a wider range of analytical ability.
Task Achievement
You made a clear argument, positioning yourself against the benefits of temporary work clearly throughout the essay. This demonstrates a good attempt to meet the task requirements.
Coherence & Cohesion
You effectively used paragraphs to organize your essay, making it easier to follow your line of reasoning. This is a positive aspect of your essay's coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.