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Band 6.5

Write about the following topic: Due to the increase in population in big cities, more and more people are living in small houses with very little or no outdoor space. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. Model Answer

#topic #population #cities #people #houses #space #development #model
In contemporary urban landscapes, the surge in population density has led to a notable trend: an increasing number of individuals are residing in compact accommodations, often devoid of substantial outdoor areas.
This
 phenomenon has elicited polarised opinions regarding its implications.
While
 some view it as a concerning development, others contend that it may carry certain benefits. On one hand, the dwindling availability of spacious housing with ample outdoor space raises legitimate concerns because limited living quarters can contribute to feelings of claustrophobia and stress among residents.
This
 arises as the absence of outdoor areas may impede opportunities for recreation and relaxation, potentially compromising residents'
overall
 well-being.
As a consequence
, individuals might find it challenging to establish connections with nature, which is integral to mental and physical health.
Conversely
, proponents of
this
 trend argue that compact living can foster resource efficiency and a sense of community. In densely populated areas, smaller dwellings often translate to shorter commutes and reduced carbon emissions, factors of utmost importance given issues of city pollution.
Moreover
, the proximity of neighbours in compact housing units can facilitate social interactions and mutual support networks, thereby promoting a stronger sense of belonging and solidarity among residents. In conclusion, the phenomenon of residing in small houses without substantial outdoor space presents a complex tapestry of advantages and drawbacks. In my view,
while
 it may contribute to feelings of confinement and limit opportunities for outdoor activities, the potential to foster community cohesion and environmental sustainability is of
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utmost
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upmost
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utmost
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 importance in today's world, and
therefore
overall
 it is a positive development
Submitted by monahhj123 on

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Task Achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider integrating more specific examples from real-life situations or studies to substantiate your arguments. This will provide depth to your discussion and make your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good command of logical structure and connectivity among ideas. To reach higher levels, focus on varying your linking expressions and paragraphing techniques for smoother transitions and clearer delineation of paragraphs.
Task Achievement
You provided a balanced viewpoint, discussing both sides of the argument effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion succinctly encapsulate the essay's main arguments, showcasing good practice in essay structuring.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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