It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays many primary schools
start
to plan to add "learning how to grow Wrong verb form
have started
vegetables
and keep animals "as a course. So the
society Correct article usage
apply
also
start
to make a comparison between its advantages and disadvantages.
It is definitely clear that Change the verb form
starts
this
kind of course is included in labour education
. Children
can develop the recognition of nature in a more simple way, and encourage their interest in natural science. Keeping these
Change the determiner
this life
these lives
life
also
can establish correct values, which will continuously increase the kindness with
those Change preposition
of
children
. Moreover
, those activities can replace mobile phones to bring the the
happiness in their childhood. Animals like cats and dogs, Correct article usage
apply
vegetables
like tomatoes and green vegetables
, those
all need a long time to develop Correct pronoun usage
apply
relationship
or grow Add an article
a relationship
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
up
. After taking a long time to take care of them, Change preposition
apply
the
society can see the change of a lot more patience and warm-heart of kids.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, if we focus on children
's study
, we'll see disadvantages. Keeping a Fix the agreement mistake
studies
life
at home means the energy that was used for learning has switched to taking care of those small cute ones. With much less time spending
on studying, the scores kids get may be lower, which may Replace the word
spent
harms
their chance to enter a better school in the future. Meanwhile, it is meaningless to some parents to have Change the verb form
harm
such
a cost from a creature that "isn't a human ". They may feel more stressful
after getting another Replace the word
stressed
life
to
home. Change preposition
at
At
Change preposition
Last
last
but not least, many parents will think it is also
meaningless to have labour
Correct article usage
a labour
education
, because they need academic achievement instead
of growing "a small thing" successfully.
Therefore
, it is really difficult to decide whether children
should learn how to grow vegetables
and keep animals. It seems that the advantages is
a lot more than Change the verb form
are
disadvantages
, but the Correct article usage
the disadvantages
base
condition of that Correct your spelling
basic
happens is
the family has enough money to support those activities. For poor or mentally backward ones, it is sad but true that Verb problem
apply
those
"labour Correct determiner usage
apply
education
" is certainly a kind of meaningless thing to do. They just focus on how great is
the academic achievements their Unnecessary verb
apply
children
get. The gap between rich and poor can seriously prevent the
society Correct article usage
apply
to
Change preposition
from
analysis
the situation. The conclusion is clear: for those who have enough money and a modern mind, keeping a Replace the word
analysing
life
can improve their children
's quality education
; for those that in opposite conditions, it is absolutely a really stressful burden.
If we just focus on the full development of kids, those small activities can also
be very important ones. It is truly a great thing in theory, but the real world can't give up the realistic problem.Submitted by pitaleung8 on
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task achievement
The essay presents a well-balanced view on the topic, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of children learning to grow vegetables and keep animals. However, more specific examples and clearer argumentation would strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical flow in your essay. Using linking phrases effectively helps to connect ideas and arguments, making your essay more cohesive.
language accuracy
It is beneficial to proofread your essay to catch and correct small grammatical errors or typos. This polish does not heavily affect your score but contributes to the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
introduction and conclusion
You've successfully introduced and concluded your essay, framing your arguments clearly.
argument depth
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic by exploring various dimensions of the argument, which shows depth in your critical thinking.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.