It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays many primary schools
start
Wrong verb form
have started
show examples
to plan to add "learning how to grow
vegetables
Use synonyms
and keep animals "as a course. So
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
also
Linking Words
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
to make a comparison between its advantages and disadvantages. It is definitely clear that
this
Linking Words
kind of course is included in labour
education
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.
Children
Use synonyms
can develop the recognition of nature in a more simple way, and encourage their interest in natural science. Keeping
these
Change the determiner
this life
these lives
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life
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also
Linking Words
can establish correct values, which will continuously increase the kindness
with
Change preposition
of
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those
children
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, those activities can replace mobile phones to bring
the the
Correct article usage
apply
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happiness in their childhood. Animals like cats and dogs,
vegetables
Use synonyms
like tomatoes and green
vegetables
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,
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all need a long time to develop
relationship
Add an article
a relationship
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or grow
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
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. After taking a long time to take care of them,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society can see the change of a lot more patience and warm-heart of kids.
However
Linking Words
, if we focus on
children
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's
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
, we'll see disadvantages. Keeping a
life
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at home means the energy that was used for learning has switched to taking care of those small cute ones. With much less time
spending
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spent
show examples
on studying, the scores kids get may be lower, which may
harms
Change the verb form
harm
show examples
their chance to enter a better school in the future. Meanwhile, it is meaningless to some parents to have
such
Linking Words
a cost from a creature that "isn't a human ". They may feel more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
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after getting another
life
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
at
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home.
At
Change preposition
Last
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last
Linking Words
but not least, many parents will think it is
also
Linking Words
meaningless to have
labour
Correct article usage
a labour
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education
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, because they need academic achievement
instead
Linking Words
of growing "a small thing" successfully.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is really difficult to decide whether
children
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should learn how to grow
vegetables
Use synonyms
and keep animals. It seems that the advantages
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
a lot more than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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, but the
base
Correct your spelling
basic
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condition of that
happens is
Verb problem
apply
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the family has enough money to support those activities. For poor or mentally backward ones, it is sad but true that
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
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"labour
education
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" is certainly a kind of meaningless thing to do. They just focus on how great
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the academic achievements their
children
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get. The gap between rich and poor can seriously prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
analysis
Replace the word
analysing
show examples
the situation. The conclusion is clear: for those who have enough money and a modern mind, keeping a
life
Use synonyms
can improve their
children
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's quality
education
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; for those that in opposite conditions, it is absolutely a really stressful burden. If we just focus on the full development of kids, those small activities can
also
Linking Words
be very important ones. It is truly a great thing in theory, but the real world can't give up the realistic problem.
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task achievement
The essay presents a well-balanced view on the topic, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of children learning to grow vegetables and keep animals. However, more specific examples and clearer argumentation would strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical flow in your essay. Using linking phrases effectively helps to connect ideas and arguments, making your essay more cohesive.
language accuracy
It is beneficial to proofread your essay to catch and correct small grammatical errors or typos. This polish does not heavily affect your score but contributes to the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
introduction and conclusion
You've successfully introduced and concluded your essay, framing your arguments clearly.
argument depth
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic by exploring various dimensions of the argument, which shows depth in your critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable practices
  • cultural literacy
  • hands-on experience
  • nutritional awareness
  • curriculum integration
  • time management
  • resource allocation
  • school gardening projects
  • animal husbandry
  • ecosystem education
  • dietary habits
  • work ethic
What to do next:
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