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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that students should be required to wear uniforms in school, while others argue that uniforms restrict individuality and self-expression. What is your opinion?

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In recent years, some
people
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 have argued that
students
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 should wear uniforms at school.
This
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 belief brings a special concern regarding
students
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' freedom in choosing what they tend to wear. In
this
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 essay, both arguments will be discussed. I would like to start my argument by writing about the opinions of
people
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 who are against
this
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 method. They believe that it is an unnecessary restriction on personal freedom and pupils should be allowed to put on the clothes that suit them, rather than being obliged to a fixed uniform.
On the other hand
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, lots of
students
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 do not like wearing the same clothes every day.
In other words
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, children should freely choose their style and outfit.
On the contrary
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,
people
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 who are in favour of a fixed dress code argue that
,
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apply
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 there are more benefits than drawbacks.
Firstly
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,
students
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 do not spend all of their time at school and have lots of other opportunities to wear whatever they like on different occasions.
Secondly
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, they will be identified with a particular which can help to maintain discipline.
Thirdly
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, all of them with different backgrounds have to wear the same clothes so, no one will be judged based on his outfit and they will learn to respect each other in spite of their differences.
Moreover
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, a strict dress code is necessary to stop some
people
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 from dressing inappropriately.
to conclude
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, based on what is discussed above, there are several arguments for and against wearing uniforms at schools. In my opinion, the potential benefits of a strict dress code outweigh the drawbacks.

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Relevant specific examples
Try to include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Logical structure
Ensure a clear distinction between your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will aid in the logical flow and understanding of your essay.
Clear comprehensive ideas
Consider introducing your personal opinion more clearly in the introduction for a stronger position from the beginning.
Complete response
You've managed to outline both sides of the argument effectively, showing an understanding of the topic.
Introduction & Conclusion present
Your essay has a good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Supported main points
You've provided reasons and elaborations for the arguments which enhance coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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