IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

#cars
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In recent years, the use of
cars
Use synonyms
 has been becoming more popular.
Although
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, I think that it maintains some obvious harmful consequences, I totally believe that the advantages of
cars
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 may outweigh its disadvantages.  On the one hand, owning a
car
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 has a side effect on the environment. The first reason is that the increased number of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 by
car
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 causes a rise in air pollution.
Secondly
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, individuals may become more dependent on
cars
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, which leads to a decrease in physical activities,
such
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 as walking and cycling. People may have a chance of carrying some health issues that are caused by less activity like obesity or even heart attacks. 
On the other hand
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, there are plenty of reasons why users prefer to own
cars
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.
Firstly
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, it allows people to manage
time
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 by
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 at any
time
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. The ease of transportation that a
car
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 shows is significantly prominent compared to other types of vehicles.
For instance
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, you can go from one point to another without waiting for a long
time
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 for a train or bus and no
time
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 is wasted.
Therefore
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, distance and
time
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 are not a problem anymore.
Secondly
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, private
cars
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 are more convenient
while
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 than other public
transports
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transport
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 which are overcrowded and noisy.
For example
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, you can enjoy things during your trip in a
car
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 like listening to music, having privacy, and talking to your kids, which seems impossible to have
such
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 things on public transport.  In conclusion, owning a
car
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 can cause a few clear issues, but in my view, having a
car
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 is the best option and the pros that it brings have more impact than drawbacks.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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language use
Ensure a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to effectively convey your points. This will enhance the clarity and impact of your essay.
development
Consider developing your arguments further with more detailed examples and analyses. This will strengthen your essay by providing deeper insights into the advantages and disadvantages of car usage.
accuracy
Remember to proofread your essay to catch and correct minor errors. This will help in presenting your ideas more clearly and professionally.
Introduction and Conclusion
You introduced and concluded your essay effectively, providing a clear statement of your opinion.
Logical Structure
You organized your arguments logically, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
Relevant Examples
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, which helped in illustrating your arguments.
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