IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emission #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The charts give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about how
energy
Use synonyms
 is used and
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 which result from
energy
Use synonyms
use
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 in Australia.
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates household
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 and
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates household greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
gas
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emissions
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of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 lighting and refrigeration are 2 times more than
energy
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use
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. Heating
energy
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use
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 is not as much as
waste
Add an article
a waste
show examples
 of
energy
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 water heating and waste of
energy
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 are almost same and, other appliances
gas
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emissions
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 is not as less as
energy
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 .
According to
Linking Words
 the first
chart
Use synonyms
, half of
full
Add an article
the full
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 is used for refrigeration and the least
energy
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 is wasted for cooling . The
energy
Use synonyms
use
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 of cooling , lighting and refrigeration
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not as much as others.
According to
Linking Words
 the second
chart
Use synonyms
,
gas
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emissions
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of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 water heating and other appliances are more than others and, cooling is
also
Linking Words
 the least. The most important
energy
Use synonyms
 feature for Australian households was heating, followed by water heating, at 42% and 30% respectively.
However
Linking Words
,
emissions
Use synonyms
 from
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 were 15% and 32%, respectively
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas, emissions, use, chart with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Household activities
  • Heating
  • Water heating
  • Cooling
  • Appliances
  • Proportion
  • Efficiency
  • Insulation
  • Energy-efficient
  • Sustainable practices
  • Reduce emissions
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon footprint
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