IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative thing?

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The decrease in countryside
population
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 as people move to urban centres is a phenomenon observed in many countries around the world.
This
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 trend is often attributed to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of rapid development in
cities
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 other than the central metropolises.
This
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 essay will explore both the advantages and disadvantages
in
Change preposition
of
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 the demographic shift. One of the positive aspects of rural-to-urban migration is the expansion of
labour
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 markets and employment opportunities in urban
areas
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.
Firstly
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, the coming of rural citizens into
cities
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 boosts the
labour
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 force in the central
labour
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 market, allowing private companies to find high-quality employees at reasonable wages.
For instance
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, in Thailand, many factories set their minimum wage rates based on the availability of
labour
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.
Additionally
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, job opportunities are more abundant in central urban
areas
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 than in the countryside.
This
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 leads to a significant number of people choosing to settle in larger
cities
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 where they can benefit from better infrastructure and a wide range of services. The migration from rural
areas
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 to urban centres comes with drawbacks, including the reduction of human resources in smaller
cities
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 and increased cost of living in the central metropolises.
Subsequently
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, the first significant issue is the dropping
population
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 in smaller
areas
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, which results in a critical poverty of human resources for economic growth and urban development.
For example
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, lesser-known
cities
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 in Thailand struggle to hold and attract their native people
due to
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 a lack of resources and incentives. Another adverse effect is the heightened cost of living in central urban
areas
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, which escalates in response to the rising demand from an increasing
population
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.
Consequently
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, the Thai government’s focus on developing central
areas
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 and larger
cities
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further
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 encourages the influx of rural populations into the urban spaces, causing some problems. In conclusion, rural-to-urban migration presents both opportunities and challenges.
While
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 it can drive economic growth and job creation in major
cities
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, it
also
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 exacerbates resource strain and ruins rural communities. A strategic approach, promoting balanced development and decentralising economic activities, is crucial. Encouraging remote work, incentivizing business expansion into less
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population
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populated
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areas
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, and improving rural infrastructures can relieve adverse effects.

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sentence variety
Try to enrich your essay with a wider variety of complex sentence structures for improved clarity and flow. Experimenting with a range of syntactical constructions can enhance the readability and sophistication of your writing.
specific examples
Enhance your argument by including more detailed specific examples. Current examples offer a good starting point, but further detail can strengthen your case and offer clearer insights into your argument.
balance and depth of argument
Consider exploring potential solutions or measures to address the problems associated with rural-to-urban migration to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
balanced argument
Your essay effectively outlines both the positives and negatives of rural-to-urban migration, providing a balanced view of the issue.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion clearly set up and summarize the essay's main points, which helps in guiding the reader through your discussion.
use of examples
You have provided relevant examples, such as the situation in Thailand, to support your argument, which helps to contextualize your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic opportunities
  • career prospects
  • quality of life
  • cultural exchange
  • economic stagnation
  • urban overcrowding
  • infrastructure
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • natural habitats
  • migration
  • superior education and healthcare services
  • diverse and vibrant cultural landscape
  • local services
  • urban slums
  • pressure on infrastructure
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