Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

It is true that being a celebrity comes with many pros and cons.
Although
celebrities
earn a lot of money and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can influence
people
, I believe that these reasons do not outweigh the fact that they lose privacy and do not have
people
around them who really care for them. On the one hand, it is well-known that
celebrities
get massive paychecks.
This
allows them to have a luxury life with the ability to buy whatever they desire,
such
as fancy cars and designer clothes.
For example
, we can see rappers wearing expensive watches and clothes in their music videos.
In addition
, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrity
status
Add a comma
status,
show examples
they
also
obtain the power to influence
people
. Since many
people
follow these
celebrities
, their word means a lot to the commoners. They will do
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what they say without really putting any thought into it;
therefore
celebrities
can use
this
to do good for society.
For instance
, a famous Indian actor was
educating
Change the form of the verb
educated
show examples
about the benefits of trees on his social media, and his fans planted thousands of trees collectively.
On the other hand
,
celebrities
have minimal privacy. They cannot go out as they please without being bombarded by paparazzi. They cannot enjoy their local cuisine in peace, because they are well-known, and most of the fans will crowd the area asking for a picture with them.
Furthermore
, a majority of the
people
around them will not be genuine to them, they will associate with them either for money or fame. These popular
people
can feel depressed knowing that no one is true around them.
For example
,
Sri
Correct article usage
a Sri
show examples
Lankan cricketer fell into depression as he had no friends with whom he could share his feelings. In conclusion, despite the fact that
celebrities
come with big money and they can influence
people
, I believe it is not worth losing their privacy and not having
people
who care about them.
Submitted by sajeendranrajakumar on

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coherence cohesion
Maintain clear paragraphing. Sometimes the arguments, while clear, could use smoother transitions between ideas to enhance the overall flow.
task achievement
Ensure that all points are equally developed. The section about celebrities influencing people could benefit from more elaborate examples or explanations.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
supported main points
Main points are supported with relevant examples, such as the Indian actor advocating for tree planting and the Sri Lankan cricketer's depression.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public scrutiny
  • Intrusive
  • Endorsements
  • Sponsorships
  • Financial security
  • High-profile collaborations
  • Social influence
  • Philanthropic efforts
  • Trust issues
  • Mental health challenges
  • Substance abuse
  • Pressures of celebrity
  • Expectations
  • Disconnect from reality
  • Normalcy
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