Human activities have negative effects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem. Others believe that effective measures can be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The proliferation of human
activities
has led to a negative impact on many
species
.
While
some people believe that it is too late to reverse the damage, others believe that some positive actions are still possible to be done to make an improvement regarding
this
situation.
Although
many
species
are categorized as critically endangered
due to
human
activities
, I believe the advancement of technologies and commitment would be able to improve
this
situation. Regarding
this
, global warming, which is ultimately caused by human
activities
, has made the earth's temperature continuously rise.
As a result
, many
species
are vulnerable to extinction as the forest turns into industrial areas. Take Sudan as an example; it was the
last
male white rhino who lived in conservation
instead
of roaming free in their natural habitat
,
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and
finally
died around five years ago.
Although
the conservation efforts seem to be in vain, it is
also
needed to note that several
species
are just prone to extinction because of their slowly breeding nature.
This
is the reason why, I believe, technological advances are still possible to mitigate human impact on the ecosystem.
Moreover
, there are many succeeding cases regarding
this
,
such
as panda conservation in China that makes the animals reclassified from 'endangered' to 'vulnerable', reaffirming the decade-long effort of the country.
On the contrary
, numerous efforts have been made,
such
as reforestation and stricter environmental laws, which show that the commitment and effort have an impact and would make a difference. An international pact is continuously planned with promising outcomes. The Paris Accord in 2015, for example, put a consensus to almost all nations to reduce emissions and commit to maintaining biodiversity.
Moreover
, environmental issues have been a main agenda in the United Nations, urging every country to change. I believe
,
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this
mass movement will increase awareness and empower both individuals and communities to take action and contribute to saving the planet. In conclusion,
while
the effect of human
activities
has directly caused the loss of biodiversity, I believe that effective measure of technology and communal effort needs to be taken into account to decrease
this
problem.
Submitted by aldawinonaz on

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coherence cohesion
Consider more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance the readability and flow of your essay. While the essay is well-organized, utilizing a broader range of structures can make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by specific examples. You've done well in this regard, but more detailed examples could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Expand your conclusion by not only restating your stance but also by summarizing the key points discussed. This will provide a stronger closure to your essay.
task achievement
Work on integrating your opinions more seamlessly within the argumentative structure of the essay. While your stance is clear, linking it more explicitly to each discussed view can enrich the overall coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • extinction
  • reforestation
  • conservation programs
  • environmental laws
  • ecosystems
  • technological advances
  • awareness
  • interconnectivity
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem services
  • preserving
  • wildlife
  • mitigate
  • empowering
  • economic and social benefits
  • incentives
  • conservation efforts
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