Write about following topic: Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

A group of people assume that the youth
generation
has a significant amount of free time and they think more responsibilities should be introduced by schools to fill
this
age. In my view, children have to be free and enjoy their teenage years because in adulthood they have to deal with a massive number of hardships ,
also
if we make them do some extra activities it might have negative effects.
To begin
with, some families think
this
young
generation
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a great amount of extra free time and schools have to provide more tasks to keep them busy.
However
, it is not a positive development because at their age they do have not to struggle with difficulties, meanwhile, it is the best opportunity to satisfy all their need because they do not have any special duty. As the next adult
generation
,they will have to deal with all kinds of problems,
such
as tax payment, shopping and work-related issues,
as a result
, I think
this
extra age will provide a chance for youngsters to prepare themselves for the future and have a clear mind.
Furthermore
, the teenage area is the most important period in their lives and if we put extra weight on their back they might indicate some anti-social behaviours, because they think it is their duty to consider tasks and if we force them they will react harshly. So it is better to let them be free on their own and as a community, we can supervise them and whenever our help is needed we can provide aid and direct them in the right orientation.
For example
, physiologists
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
controlling rebellious youth usually try to listen to them and try to not show any reaction to their incorrect behaviour and let the children think about their behaviours and in the end they help them with some advice. In conclusion, in my opinion,
this
generation
may have extra free time,
although
, it is advantageous for them because makes
this
society able to completely enjoy their hood and they can be upbringing in the best way,
moreover
, as families, it is our duty to being tolerant and does not force them to do activities.
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the task with a clear position, but could benefit from more specific examples to effectively support your arguments.
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Ensure a greater variety of transition phrases to enhance flow between ideas for improved coherence.
Task Achievement
Attempt to cover both sides of the argument to enrich the response, even if you lean towards one perspective more strongly.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've effectively used an introduction and conclusion to bookend your discussion, framing your argument clearly.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint and maintains it throughout, making your position on the subject evident.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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