Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Some countries accomplish international success by constructing prioritized
facilities
to train top athletes instead
of providing sports
amenities that everyone can utilize. I believe it is a negative development as I think that it causes disparity and lacks a chance to become a sports
star for late bloomers.
To begin
with, allowing only a few talented sports
stars to use the sports
facilities
exclusively is totally unfair. Not only professionals but also
non-experts have a right to use workout facilities
as sports
amenities are for social well-being, not only for a few specialized individuals. Hence
, all sports
facilities
should be open to all community members.
Furthermore
, countries are losing chances of fostering late bloomers. To be specific, not all talented athletes have an opportunity to spot their special physical abilities at an early age. Therefore
, workout centres should be allowed to everyone who has the potential to be a future sports
star. For example
, in South Korea, a well-known athlete Yun Seong-bin started his profession as a sportsperson at the age of 17. It is true that it was a slightly late start, but consequently
, he has made a wonderful success - he attained a gold medal at his first Olympics. It was possible because of various investments and facilities
that were provided near his house, which were opened to all residents.
To conclude
, there are some countries that only allow specialized exercise space for top athletes. I claim that it is a highly negative trend because it causes inequality in sports
and deprives late bloomers to achieve their dreams.Submitted by aahhyu111 on
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coherence cohesion
Great job on maintaining a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. This makes your arguments easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
You've done well to include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your viewpoint. This effectively frames your essay.
coherence cohesion
You've supported your main points with relevant examples and reasoning which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Your essay fully addresses the task, providing a clear opinion on the topic. Keep ensuring every part of the task is answered to maintain this high level of task achievement.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, comprehensive, and relevant, which demonstrates a strong understanding of the essay topic. Continue developing this skill for even more effective essays.
task achievement
The specific example of Yun Seong-bin effectively illustrates your point and engages the reader. Including such detailed examples is excellent for supporting your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Logical and clear structure of the essay
coherence cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion
task achievement
Use of specific, relevant examples
General
Clear presentation of your viewpoint
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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