what should young people do to contribute to the harmony and diversity of school environment?

As the future generation,
students
are pivotal in exploring the large world. Improving cultural
diversity
and
inclusivity
is crucial now more than ever. To create a better future, we can instruct the
students
on how they can contribute to improving the progress of integrating
diversity
and
inclusivity
in educational environments all over the world.
Students
can begin by raising awareness for the people around them. Misconceptions and absolute,
such
as racism towards
in
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apply
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the US, particularly in South America, have become less to be seen nowadays. Addressing these issues requires significant resources and effort from both the government and society. By raising awareness,
students
can help develop a deeper understanding and open-mindedness of each other’s cultures, enhance cultural
diversity
and harmony in schools
Thus
,
students
can be power figures as vocal advocates for
inclusivity
. Witnessing discrimination or inequality can influence
students
’s thinking since they are still a child. To adopt similar
behaviors
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behaviours
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, children are sponges and absorb the attitudes and beliefs around them like water, they must be exposed to positive role models.
Students
can lead by example, demonstrating open-mindedness and respect, which encourages others to enhance cultural richness and make informed choices about cultural practices. Not they make or include any terrible practices in their culture, just like how the Vietnamese hand-picked carefully for any culture when they connect to the vast world out there. They included new
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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to
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in
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their lifestyles over
the
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apply
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history, which is a long way to go. But a good one to be at least In conclusion, all the reasons mentioned above of how can
students
improve and contribute significantly to the richness of
diversity
and
inclusivity
in an educational environment. By embracing these values, they can create a way where individuals can thrive regardless of their differences.
Although
achieving
this
goal may be challenging, it is a necessary part of a roadmap for a brighter future for all humanity.
Submitted by nguyenhoanghadl on

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Specific Examples
To enhance clarity and precision in your essay, consider focusing on providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points. While you've discussed the importance of raising awareness and being vocal advocates for inclusivity, incorporating concrete examples or case studies could further strengthen your argument.
Sentence Structure
Paying closer attention to sentence structure and ensuring the clarity of your ideas could further refine your writing. Avoid complex sentences that might be confusing and strive for clear and concise expression.
Grammar & Phrasing
Your essay would benefit from a closer review and correction of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. To improve the fluency of your writing, consider revising sentences that feel unnatural or are grammatically incorrect.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your discussion on the importance of cultural diversity and inclusivity in schools, engaging the reader from the beginning.
Topic Understanding
You demonstrate a strong understanding of the topic by discussing the role of students in promoting harmony and diversity, which is central to the essay's task.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively wraps up your argument, reinforcing the essay's main points and reiterating the importance of incorporating diversity and inclusivity in educational environments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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