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Band 5

Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in a man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #zoos #animals #environment #st #century
Some say that animal parks
shold
Correct your spelling
should
 be closed today,
while
 others say the opposite. I strongly believe that
although
 an artificial place can harm creatures that live inside it, I believe the healthcare service
that is
 provided for them is better in these places. Some people think that parks for wild creatures
such
 as tigers, elephants and penguins should be closed because they live in captivity in small cages, and
therefore
 not being in their natural habitat damages them.
As well as
 freedom restriction, a life without interaction with the other components of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature has bad effects on animals' psychology and physical well-being because life without is not familiar to them.
For example
, the average death caused by
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of giraffes happens at much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
younger times in captivated ones.
However
, I do not think not engaging
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
 interaction with nature
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 negative impact on species than natural threats.
While
 others argue that being behind glass in certain facilities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more beneficial for animals because the healthcare system is at its peak in these
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, the best food is given to them and they take their vitamins each day, and
due to
 the reproduction system, certain kinds can
last
 longer than expected. Take Sugar, a special kind of elephant in Russia's natural park,
for instance
, she has been saved from blood cancer recently and
such
 care cannot be given to her if she was in her natural habitat. I believe so as to keep the well-being and the diversity of wild ones, zoos should stay open.
To conclude
,
although
 captivating species
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 drawbacks in terms of their health, I believe because of the professional care, they are more healthy in
such
 facilities.
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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or reasons.
Vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
Grammar
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy. Review usage of articles, tense consistency, and sentence structure.
Content
Provide specific examples to support your arguments. This can strengthen your claims and make your essay more convincing.
Balanced Argument
You presented a balanced view and addressed both sides of the argument, which is good for fully responding to the task.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly restates your position and summarizes the main points, providing a clear closure to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Ethical considerations
  • Wildlife conservation
  • Artificial habitats
  • Species preservation
  • Breeding programs
  • Animal welfare
  • Ecological awareness
  • Habitat destruction
  • Captive breeding
  • Educational outreach
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Psychological stress
  • Regulatory compliance
  • Domestication vs. wildness
  • Natural behavior
  • Economic viability
  • Tourist attractions
  • Cultural perspective
  • Public sentiment
What to do next:
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