IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people claim that there are more disadvandages of car ownership than advantages. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a car.

#people #disadvandages #car #ownership
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Few Individuals believe that using a
car
Use synonyms
 In day to life has more drawbacks than benefits.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages along the disadvantages of
this
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 notion In forthcoming Paragraphs. To commence with merits, using a
car
Use synonyms
instead
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 of public transport leads to easy & comfortable ride.
Additionally
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, People can travel with their family, who has four or more members In It. To explicate It, If someone has a big family they can buy a
car
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 and reach a place where they want to go.
Also
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, they experience a smooth and comfortable ride.
For Instance
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, a survey conducted by the University of California Indicates that 55% of United States residents own their personal cars and the reason behind
this
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 phenomenon Is that they want to travel with their family for enjoyable rides.
Hence
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, using your own transportation as a
car
Use synonyms
 leads to a more cosy experience.
Further
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 sifting toward demerits, The first and for most disadvantage Is that the
car
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 demands high maintenance costs,
such
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 as fuel consumption & Insurance, drawing tremendous money from the owner's pocket.
Secondly
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,
while
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 using your own transportation
then
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 thats are higher chances of technical and mechanical failure.
In other words
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, Nowadays a
car
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 has low mileage and higher assurance cost,
Moreover
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, there are higher chances of failure
while
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 travelling. To cite an example, a news headline from The New York Times shows that 72% of
car
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 trouble happens during trips across the world.
To conclude
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,
although
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 using a vehicle for transportation Is going to give a smooth experience for all the family yet, using a
car
Use synonyms
 demands more maintenance costs
as well as
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 the chances of failure between trips are highest.
Submitted by birenp046 on

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sentence structure
Consider varying your sentence structures to improve readability and add complexity to your writing. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more engaging.
grammar accuracy
Try to minimize typographical and grammatical errors by proofreading your essay. Small errors such as 'thats are higher chances' should be corrected to 'there are higher chances' to enhance clarity.
lexical resource
Incorporating a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic can make your arguments stronger and more compelling. Avoid repetition of words where possible to keep the reader engaged.
development and support
Ensure all your examples are fully developed and clearly linked to the points you are making. Expanding on how examples support your argument strengthens your essay.
content balance
You did well in presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of car ownership, providing a balanced view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good logical flow that effectively guides the reader through your points, from introduction through to conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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