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Band 5

more and more people use private cars instead of taking the public transport. what are the reasons for this rising trend? what can be done to encourage people to use public transport?

#people #cars #transport #trend
Evidence suggests that a growing number of the public tend to use their personal
vehicles
 rather than the shared
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
.
Although
 there are specific root causes behind
this
phenomenan
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
, effective steps can be taken to tackle
this
 problem. There are two main reasons why the public
vehicles
 are not favourable among people.
Firstly
, these ways of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 are not reliable.
In other words
, their schedules and covered areas are limited.
For instance
, individuals who want to commute in the late
houres
Correct your spelling
hours
show examples
Change preposition
of a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 day or go to the suburbs are less likely to find any
kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind
show examples
 of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
.
Secondly
, they often are teemed with
stranger
Add an article
a stranger
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 which
lead
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leads
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 to
privacy
Correct article usage
the privacy
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lost
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loss
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 of
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
.
That is
, there is no
boundery
Correct your spelling
boundary
 between commuters and even a simple phone call is observed by others.
However
, these conditions can be improved if some actions are taken.
To begin
 with,
these transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
this transportation
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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needed to be free.
That is
 to say, free tickets may motivate the public.
For example
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
such
 as subways and buses were free, the majority of people would use them in order to avoid spending on fuel and maintenance of their own cars.
Furthermore
,expanding the routes of the public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 encourage more people to use them. the more these
vehicles
 cover the regions
specially
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especially
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 the outskirts, the more commuters use them.
To conclude
, there are numerous causative factors behind
Correct article usage
the tranportation
show examples
tranportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 problem, but the most significant one is about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reliable public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
.
This
,
however
, can be addressed by developing the tracks that these
vehicles
 take every day.
Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While general examples are used, more particular instances can make your points stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and make your essay more engaging. Some sentences may benefit from being broken down into simpler forms or by incorporating a variety of structures.
general
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
Consider expanding on the reasons behind the current preferences for private over public transport by exploring deeper societal or psychological reasons to enrich your argument.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved through more deliberate use of linking words and phrases.
task achievement
You effectively identified and addressed both parts of the question, providing a structured response.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
You used examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments.
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