IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Robot and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace human in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

#robot #intelligence #workplace #impact #society
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In
this
 digital era,
technology
 is becoming more and more popular, and
humans
 are concerned about the replacement of
robots
 and AI. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the dependence of
humans
 on
technology
 is increasing, I believe that
this
 development will affect
on
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apply
show examples
society badly. In the ancient era, when
people
 lived without modern
technology
, they did everything by their hand. Nowadays, there are a lot of new inventions that help
people
 work. They are very convenient,
that is
 why young
people
 depend too much on
technology
 equipment. A good example of
this
 is that in some workplaces,
robots
 are bought to work as a receptionist or a good seller.
Although
 the revolution of
technology
 helps
humans
 a lot with working and
also
 entertainment, it still has a negative impact on society. It is reasonable that some theories assume that AI is going to replace
humans
 in the future. Because
robots
 are so popular, many factories and companies prefer using
robots
instead
 of
humans
. It leads to the higher rates of unemployment all over the world. The best example of
this
 is that
people
 lost their works because of the
robots
, not only the rates of unemployment increase, but
also
 the rates of crime. In a nutshell,
due to
 the fact that
people
 depend too much on
technology
, its benefits become drawbacks to
people
. If we do not improve
this
 situation,
robots
 will replace
humans
 in the near future,
according to
 some theories.
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Structure
Your essay addressed the topic, but the arguments could be structured more logically to improve coherence. Paragraphs should each have a clear main idea and be linked together more coherently.
Language
Try to diversify your vocabulary to better express your ideas, avoiding repetition of phrases like 'technology is becoming more and more popular'. Variety in language contributes to a clearer and more engaging argument.
Introduction/Conclusion
Include a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. An introduction should outline your main points, while the conclusion should summarize them, providing a cohesive structure to your writing.
Examples
While you used some examples, incorporating more specific and varied examples could strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Content
You've effectively highlighted the importance of technology in modern life and raised valid concerns about its impact on employment.
Critical Thinking
The essay prompts reflection on important societal changes, demonstrating some critical thinking on the subject of technology replacing human jobs.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advancement
  • productivity
  • accuracy
  • output
  • hazardous
  • safeguard
  • mixed bag
  • job displacement
  • unemployment
  • manual labor
  • ethical concerns
  • privacy concerns
  • autonomy
  • interpersonal activities
  • enrich
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