The sports center that you regularly visit has a problem with some of its equipment. Write a letter to the center manager. In your letter •tell them about the problem; •describe how it has affected you; •explain why it should be fixed soon.

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
letter to inform you about our organisation’s equipment quality issue. I am Sam, currently living in Toronto City in the Woodside neighbourhood for the past twenty-five years. Since my childhood, my family members have always preferred your prestigious firm for sports activities. Recently, I visited our company to maintain my fitness level.
Furthermore
, when I started to use the treadmill, the belt of the machine was toned and it made me feel uncomfortable.
On the other hand
, some other equipment in our gym have quality issues.
Moreover
, when I started to run on the treadmill it made me feel scared because I really did not know when I
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
from the belt of the machine.
Hence
, it might cause a serious injury to my body. Apart from that, when I try to use the weight machine for my deadlifting exercise. I saw the rope was toned here and there, which can cause a huge problem to my body muscles.
Finally
, I would like to share some suggestions to fix the issue soon.
First,
it will help us to maintain our firm’s brand image among the public.
Hence
, the population of
this
organisation will not be affected.
Second,
we can save people from getting serious health issues. So, the rate of accidents will be decreased. I hope you can understand the situation and I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Sam
Submitted by jeeveshkb22 on

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structure
Make sure to introduce yourself and the purpose of your letter clearly in the opening paragraph. This sets a strong foundation for your message.
detail
For a more impactful letter, try to use specific examples or incidents that express the severity and the personal impact of the equipment problem.
style
Consider using a variety of sentence structures to enhance readability and engage the reader more effectively.
cohesion
To make your paragraphs flow more naturally, connect ideas with transition words or phrases.
task response
You effectively communicated the problem, how it affects you, and why it needs to be fixed soon, covering all task requirements.
tone
Your letter maintains a respectful and formal tone, suitable for writing to a manager.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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