In most countries fast food is becoming cheaper and more available. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #food #development

In a significant number of countries fast

food

is becoming more accessible and needs a lower amount of money to buy them. I think

this

development is negative because can cause obesity and change young eating habits.

To begin

with, the population have changed their consumption habits and using more fast

food

this

new method of diet is because of the hectic lifestyle. fast

food

contains a high amount of fat and other ingredients that are not beneficial. These materials can cause obesity in the long term for those who eat them, as a survey shows, a normal hamburger needs 3 days to digest completely.

Moreover

, the other ingredients,

such

as salt and sugar, can affect other aspects of the human body,

also

, in my view, there is no positive point in consuming

this

food

Additionally

, because of convenient access to fast

food

and its good taste , children usually consider

this

item as the main one, and

this

might affect their hygiene states in the long term because their bodies react the same as the older generation.

For instance

, trends indicate that the amount of fast

food

consumed by the population increased dramatically over these years,

in addition

, the number of obese people has increased simultaneously. I believe it is better to use more healthy

food

rather than

this

disadvantageous

food

. In conclusion, fast

food

has spread steadily over the years

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and has several disadvantages

such

as health issues and weight. In my opinion, its drawbacks are significant and it is positive to replace it with beneficial dishes to help both the young and the old citizens.

Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on Fri Apr 12 2024

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introduction clarity

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sentence structure

Work on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and flow. This will make your argument more engaging and easier to follow.

use of examples

Add more specific data, research findings, or real-life examples to strengthen your main points and make your argument more compelling.

grammar and typos

Revise your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

task response

You have effectively addressed the prompt by discussing the disadvantages of the increasing availability and affordability of fast food.

essay structure

Good job on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

use of examples

Your examples related to health issues effectively support your argument against the proliferation of fast food.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Convenience
Nutritional value
Obesity epidemic
Job creation
Disposable income
Culinary diversity
Processed foods
Economic stimulus
Cultural homogenization
Sustainable practices
Public health
Consumerism

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In most countries fast food is becoming cheaper and more available. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Economic growth is one way to measure a country's success, but what else should we look at? which do you think is the most important?

The leaders or directors of organizations are often elderly people. However some say that young people can also take the lead of organisations or companies. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

4.Some people think that governments should spend money for faster public transportation, others think that there are other important priorities (e.g. cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Confidence in oneself is an important part of learning. What factors in a classroom can contribute to a student’s feeling of confidence?

In some countries, disabled people have to face a lot of troubles to access public and private facilities. What solution do you have to help such people?