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Band 7

People in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. Why might this be the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #countries #home #be #case #development
Some nations believe that it is more pivotal to buy a
house
instead
 of renting it.
This
 has led to different results which are both negative and positive. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why despite its plus points,
this
 notion`s side effects are more destructive psychologically and financially. First off, when some
people
 believe that it is a must for each person to have a
house
 the best plus point is that
people
 can save
money
 because of not paying a renting
money
 each month.
On the other hand
, the importance of owning an apartment among some
people
 is considerable,
while
 it may affect
youngster's
Correct article usage
a youngster's
show examples
 quality of life. It is obvious that some young
people
 are not financially supported by their parents and
then
this
 is not affordable for them to become
house
 owners.
Moreover
, they will face a lot of economic problems
such
 as inflation and the lack of job opportunities which result in saving enough
money
 to buy a
house
.
Besides
, when society thinks that everyone should purchase a
house
this
 may be annoying mentally.
For instance
,
people
 who have rented their houses have to put some
money
 aside each month in order to save
money
 for buying a
house
 and if sometimes they can not do it they will be disappointed.
To sum up
,
Although
 owning a home can help the youth save
money
while
 not paying the rent expenditures, for those who have no one to support them and bad economic climates will influence their mental health.
Submitted by faeqe.h on

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that your ideas are clearly organised and that paragraphs have a clear main idea supported by specific examples or reasons. It might help to plan your paragraphs around one central concept and then elaborate on that with examples or further explanation.
task achievement
To provide a more comprehensive response to the task, carefully consider both sides of the argument if applicable, and ensure your position is clear throughout the essay. Adding more specific examples to support your points can make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
structure
You have a clear essay structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids readability and overall coherence.
topic engagement
Your engagement with the topic is good, and you've tried to cover both why owning a home is important and its impact, showing an understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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