While some suggest the best way to combat climate change is by having a carbon tax on large corporations’ activities, others think that individuals paying tax on their own carbon footprints will have a greater impact.

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In
this
day and age, people have different views on how individuals should action to reduce global warming.
While
there are some good arguments in favour of the view that the government need to increase the
taxes
in terms of carbon that
factories
produce. I would argue that charging
taxes
to people is a better option to combat climate change. On the one hand, there is a growing belief that putting
taxes
on
industries
Change noun form
industries'
industry's
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emissions could be more advantageous for several reasons. The first
reason
is that organizations have witnessed a significant increase over the past few years, which is the main
reason
for global warming
due to
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
activities.
For instance
, in Vietnam, many
factories
have been reported to
be
Change the verb form
release
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release
a large amount of carbon dioxide, making the nearby areas less residential over the years. Another
reason
is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the enlargement of industries requires the areas to cut down trees for its materials and to create places to construct
factories
.
This
action allows the atmosphere to enhance in temperature, which is the main
reason
that makes the globe warmer.
On the other hand
, I believe that charging
taxes
to individuals for their own toxic substances can help reduce climate change more significantly.
Firstly
, compared to factory emissions, individuals believe that human activities can
release
much more substance than the corporations' work.
For example
, in America, there was a report proving that the carbon dioxide that citizens
release
was two times higher compared to that in
factories
.
Secondly
, vehicle gas is considered to be more toxic than industry emissions.
As a result
, the summarize of gas
that is
released by cars or motorbikes around the world would definitely be larger than
factories
. In conclusion,
although
both views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that people paying for their own toxic
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
show examples
that they
release
would be better and more helpful regarding climate change.
Submitted by lahuyquan123 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph deals with a single, clear idea. This may help improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices consistently and appropriately, such as conjunctions and transition words, to enhance the fluidity between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and clear, make sure to clearly state your thesis in the introduction and summarize your main points effectively in the conclusion.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments and make them stronger.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are comprehensively articulated and easy to follow. Avoid ambiguity in your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the given prompt effectively by discussing both perspectives on taxing carbon footprints.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the debate, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the writer’s viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay uses examples to support its points, which helps to illustrate the arguments made.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon tax
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable practices
  • incentivized
  • behavioral change
  • personal responsibility
  • local sustainability projects
  • community involvement
  • collective impact
  • accountability
  • societal shifts
  • innovate
  • financial capabilities
  • technological advancements
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