in some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city.
Some people prefer to
study
in their own country university and living
with their parents. Wrong verb form
live
Hence
, In other states
students desire to pick their field and Add a comma
states,
study
it in another city or even abroad far away from their house.
First of all, it is merchant
for Add an article
a merchant
the merchant
government
of Add an article
the government
that
country Correct determiner usage
the
which
a student Change preposition
in which
choose
to Change the verb form
chooses
study
in it. Because they have too
bring a lot of money so they can be a higher educated person with better certificates. Replace the word
to
For instance
, in countries like Canada, the more expensive the university is, the more money the student have
to pay. As Change the verb form
has
it
clear from Correct your spelling
is
this
example this
is good
turnover for Correct article usage
a good
this
country and authorities take this
as
Change preposition
in
a political ways
.
Correct the article-noun agreement
political ways
a political way
On the other hand
, for third worlds like Iran
Add a comma
Iran,
they
can lose a good student Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
any level by not Change preposition
at
pay
attention Wrong verb form
paying
of
their needs. Change preposition
to
For instance
, postgraduates need to have some discounts to have a better lives
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better life
better lives
specially
in countries Replace the word
especially
which
the economy Correct word choice
where
is fluctuate
every day. they can not put their hopes in their states.Wrong verb form
fluctuates
Also
, youth can not make a lot of money to aim
their targets in even Verb problem
achieve
short
plans because of Correct word choice
short-term
bad
economy, Add an article
the bad
a bad
that is
why they rather study
hard during their school years and then
apply for
foreign countries like Europe,Canada or America.
In conclusion, as they are Change preposition
to
in
Change preposition
at
young
Correct article usage
a young
ages
they can experience another life by living alone and with no affiliation and try to be on their Fix the agreement mistake
age
owns
to make Replace the word
own
them self
Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
a
stronger Correct article usage
apply
person
with excellent skills.Fix the agreement mistake
people
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Introduction clarity
Try to clarify your introduction to directly address the topic and present a clear thesis statement that outlines your essay structure.
Paragraph structure
Use paragraphs more effectively to separate your ideas clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
Linking words
Work on your essay's cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will also help with the essay's overall flow.
Conclusion effectiveness
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your key points and reflects back on the thesis, providing a clear closure to your argument.
Responding to prompt
Address the prompt more directly throughout the essay by comparing the experiences and implications of students living at home versus those moving away for university.
Proofreading
Always proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity and professionalism.
Use of examples
You provided examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Interesting perspectives
You touch on interesting perspectives regarding the impact of student mobility on countries and individuals.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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