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Band 4

Some people think that advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because advertising makes individuals less satisfied with what they are and have. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #effects #individuals
Advertising sparks debate, some see it as
the
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a
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 boon
of
Change preposition
to
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economy
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the economy
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,
while
 others fear its social downsides.
This
 essay explores both perspectives, ultimately suggesting that advertising can be a valuable economic tool, but responsible use is
a
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apply
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key. Advertisers believe they fuel economic growth by promoting brands and sparking
consumers
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consumers'
consumer's
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desire
Correct subject-verb agreement
desires
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, they drive demand for products and services.
This
 drives
business
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businesses
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 into innovation and
compete
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competition
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, leading to increased production, job opportunities and
flourishing
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a flourishing
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 economy. New products gain traction
and
Correct word choice
apply
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business
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businesses
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 benefit from
wider
Add an article
a wider
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 audience and entrepreneurs may get
the
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a
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 higher chance to employ proficient personnel providing that the company gains a considerable amount reputation. These staff may research and develop new
product
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products
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 to make
profit
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a profit
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 company.
However
, cities argue that advertising manipulates
consumes
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consumers
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. They believe constant exposure to
idealize
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idealised
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 lives portrayed in ads
breed
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breeds
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 dissatisfaction with current possessions and social comparison.
This
 can lead to unhappiness and
distorted
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a distorted
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 view of reality. People might feel pressure to constantly chase the least products, neglecting their true
need
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needs
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. Finding a middle ground is crucial by educating consumers about advertising tracks, we can empower them to make informed
chokes
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choices
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.
Recognize
Wrong verb form
Recognizing
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 the persuasive nature of ads allows for a more critical approach.
Additionally
, regulations promoting ethical advertising ensure truthfulness and discourage manipulation. Especially some elderly who may be deceived
from
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by
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 advertisements. In conclusion, advertisement has both economic and social
effect
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effects
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.
While
 it can simulate the economy, potential downsides exist. Fostering media literacy and promoting ethical practices can ensure advertising
benefit
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benefits
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social
Replace the word
society
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 at large.
Submitted by baby11mystar on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and distinct main points for stronger coherence. Consider using more paragraphing to separate ideas.
task achievement
Expand on examples to support your points more effectively. Specific, detailed examples strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on making your introduction and conclusion more impactful. Clearly state your opinion and summarize the key points.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammar and spelling mistakes for clearer expression. Proofreading can help to refine your writing.
task achievement
You explored both views on advertising effectively, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure supports the flow of ideas, aiding reader understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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