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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

with a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on production more GM foods. what are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this? GM: Genetically Modified

#population #people #focus #production #gm #foods
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In the fast-paced world, there is a rising number of citizens, so it increases requirements for the production of GM
foods
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.
It is clear that
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this
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 modern development has both benefits and drawbacks in many different aspects. In the following essay, I will explore both views.
To begin
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 with, it can be seen that
foods
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 which are changed genetically will have significant effects on providing and supporting residents' diets.
Firstly
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, the majority of genetically modified products witness a modern process with full research and safety.
As a result
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, they contain many nutrients and optimistic genetics for an individual's immune system. One more reason is that the almost consumers are attracted to new
foods
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 from genetic technologies. It can be seen that purple cauliflowers are prioritised by citizens because they possess a unique appearance compared with white or green ones. On the flip side, the development and consumption widely these
foods
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 might lead to detrimental influences on agriculture.
Initially
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, the most vulnerable group is farmers, who have a considerable impact on the production of crops. Obviously, once the inhabitants tend to choose GM
foods
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 for their daily meals, the traditional products will face limits and elimination.
Furthermore
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, it is imperative to acknowledge that even the most advanced improvements are not always infallible, and GM
foods
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 are not an exception. It is evident that some various
foods
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 contain toxic genetics or properties that have negative influences on mental and physical well-being. In conclusion, the renovation of food has always been a controversial topic all over the world.
Therefore
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, it strikes the right balance between conventional and contemporary ingredients to cater for the habit of eating.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Task Achievement
Your introduction effectively presents the topic, and your conclusion nicely wraps up your essay. To strengthen your essay, consider enhancing the clarity and development of your arguments.
Task Achievement
Including a wider range of examples and elaborating more on how GM foods impact society and the environment could provide a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, helping the reader follow your argument. For improvement, try to ensure a smoother flow between ideas by using more transitional phrases.
Coherence & Cohesion
Some points could use further elaboration or specific examples to support your arguments. While your current examples add value, more detailed examples would enhance your essay's persuasiveness.
Task Achievement
Effectively presents and concludes the topic, providing a clear outline and conclusion of your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good use of examples to illustrate points, such as the unique appearance of purple cauliflowers, which adds interest and relevance to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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