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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is often considered that changes are more beneficial to people than traying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of changes overweight the disadvantages?

#changes #people
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There is a thinking among individuals that certain changes in the living pattern of
people
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 have many positive effects rather than ignoring it or remaining plateaued
everytime
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every time
show examples
. These differences in
human
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the human
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 world can have either good impacts or some negative impacts on society.
This
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 essay will discuss both
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 and disadvantages of these diversions and
also
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 discuss my opinion. On
one
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the one
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 hand, changes in
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life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
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 of
population
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the population
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 are very essential for
progress
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the progress
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 of any nation. As technology and automation
is
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are
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 developing at a very high rate, it is necessary for
the
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apply
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citizens to follow
it
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them
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 in their own
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Consequently
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, individuals can live in a more comfortable and
well organized
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well-organized
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 state.
However
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, if a person can't
adopt
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adapt
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with
Change preposition
to
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changed
Correct article usage
a changed
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 society, he/she will be neglected by the world
to accept
Verb problem
too
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.
For instance
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,
people
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 living in the forests are referred
as
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to as
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 backward society and rejected by
rest
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the rest
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 of the world.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 certain bad outcomes of these changes
on
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in
show examples
the
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apply
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human
life
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. Nowadays, with
adoption
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the adoption
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 of new lifestyles,
people
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 are getting
dettached
Correct your spelling
detached
 from their own nation's culture.
For example
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,
Indian
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the Indian
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 modern generation is more influenced by
western
Capitalize word
Western
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clothings
Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
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 and branded products,
such
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 that they
are
Verb problem
do
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 not
known
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know
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to
Change preposition
about
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 their roots and cultural activities.
To conclude
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,
i
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I
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 can say that with ongoing modernization, it is important for youth to adopt it so that
people
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 can stay in a
well maintained
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well-maintained
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 and more
comfort
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comfortable
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 state. But, if these conversions are the reasons for citizens to divert in
wrong
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the wrong
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 direction,
then
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 remaining in
same
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the same
a same
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 living pattern is
preferrable
Correct your spelling
preferable
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. I think that following new things without forgetting our ingrained culture is the best way to live a peaceful
life
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.
Submitted by sunitarani00784 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear and consistent argument throughout your essay. Consider developing your examples further to strongly support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and keep the reader engaged.
Language
Double-check your essay for minor spelling and grammar errors to ensure clarity and professionalism.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion.
Balanced Argument
You've done well to include both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, making it clear where you stand on the issue.
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