IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many believe that to be successful in a particular sport, having a natural ability is more important than training and hardwork. Discuss both views n give your opinion.

#sport #ability #hardwork #n
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Most
people
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 believe that having a natural
ability
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 in terms of a particular sport is better than those
people
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 who are in training and
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that having a natural gift when it comes to a particular sport and those who are in training and
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 are both important
factor
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factors
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 to be successful.
To begin
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 with,
People
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 who
has
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have
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a natural skills
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natural skills
a natural skill
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 when it comes to different
sports
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has
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have
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 the capability to become more successful. Those
people
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knows
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know
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 already their strategies on how to make
decision
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decisions
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 making how to win their team. Natural talent can be a significant advantage in
sports
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, allowing athletes to excel with seemingly less effort.
However
Linking Words
, without discipline, dedication, and
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
, even the most talented athletes may fail to reach their
fullpotential
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full potential
.
For example
Linking Words
, natural
ability
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 in
specific
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a specific
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 sport has
greater
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a greater
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 impact
to become
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on becoming
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 successful, but
with
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apply
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consistent practice and eagerness to improve make it
more
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apply
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better to become successful.
In addition
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, Training and
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 are critical for developing skills, maintaining physical condition, and gaining the strategic and tactical knowledge necessary for success in
sports
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. Many examples of athletes
exists
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exist
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 who, despite not being the most naturally gifted, have achieved great success through dedication and constant improvement. The importance of mental toughness, resilience, and the
ability
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 to handle pressure, which often comes from rigorous training and experience, rather
that
Correct word choice
than
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 innate talent. Ultimately,
while
Linking Words
 natural
ability
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 can provide
initial
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an initial
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 advantage, sustained success in
sports
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 more often results from a combination of
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
, discipline training, and continuous learning.
Submitted by maricelcapul27 on

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Task Achievement
Consider providing clearer, more distinct arguments for both views. The essay could benefit from more detailed and contrasting examples that differentiate between natural ability and the effects of hard work in sports.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more effectively. Introduction of the topic, development of the argument, and a concluding statement should be more distinct and clearly separated to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and more clearly connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
You've shown an understanding of the importance of both natural ability and hard work in achieving success in sports.
General
Your positive attitude towards the topic is clear, which makes your essay engaging and shows your interest in the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate talent
  • discipline
  • dedication
  • physical condition
  • strategic and tactical knowledge
  • mental toughness
  • resilience
  • rigorous training
  • sustained success
  • continuous learning
What to do next:
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