Money ought to be spent on new public buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Public
buildings
were indeed constructed to facilitate people within surrounding areas. Some people argue that it is more beneficial to renovate an existing
Correct the article-noun agreement
existing ones
an existing one
ones
rather than to build a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new one
new ones
ones
. From my perspectives
, Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
i
believe that there are more Change the capitalization
I
beneficial
in renovating the existing Replace the word
benefits
buildings
.
Building the new public buildings
use
far more resources than one could imagine. Once the Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
constructions
started there Fix the agreement mistake
construction
are
several things to combine to complete one building. Wrong verb form
were
Following
this
, it
will cause harm to the environment, especially natural resources and biodiversity. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
, the trees in the forests will be cut down for woods
, the mountain will Fix the agreement mistake
wood
be explode
to get raw materials for concrete production, and wastes that Change the verb form
explode
discharge
Wrong verb form
discharged
to
Change preposition
into
water
Correct article usage
the water
stream
Fix the agreement mistake
streams
from
irresponsible contractors. Change preposition
by
Consequently
, it cause
various animals to lose their habitats and Change the verb form
causes
to
become extinct in the near future.
Construction activities have been significantly contributing Fix the infinitive
apply
in
Change preposition
to
green house
gas emissions. To
conserve our planet, it is better to limit the area of development by renovating the existing Correct your spelling
greenhouse
ones
. As a result
, additional infrastructures are not necessary. Adaptive reuse strategy can play a vital role in this
circumstance, with the use of the existing structure but alter
the interior functions. Wrong verb form
altering
For example
, in Thailand shophouses along Ratchadamnern road
Capitalize word
Road
had
been renovated into a museum called Nitas Rattanakosin, which is intended to attract Wrong verb form
have
tourist
to acquire the history of Bangkok.
In conclusion, some people may believe that it would be beneficial to have Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new building
new buildings
buildings
,
which I strongly disagree because
there are many negative environmental consequences , and think that it is far Change preposition
with because
more
better to renovate the existing Change the word
apply
ones
and reuse its structures.Submitted by nnatthinee on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, adding to the overall flow and coherence.
logical structure
Consider refining the structure of your essay by dedicating one paragraph to introducing the topic and outlining your stance, followed by body paragraphs that each discuss a singular main point, and conclude with a paragraph that summarizes your argument and restates your position clearly.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your main points, as this will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Pay attention to maintaining consistency in writing standards, such as proper capitalization ('i' should be 'I'), to enhance readability and formality of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You've effectively outlined your stance on the topic, providing a clear introductory statement that sets the tone for your argument.
relevant specific examples
Your essay contains relevant examples, such as the renovation project in Thailand, which effectively supports your main points and argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!