The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?
At the present days, an increasing number of individuals are moving from their places of residence to other areas, in comparison with the past.
This
essay will include possible reasons for it and discuss whether it is beneficial or not. My personal opinion will be in the conclusion.
One of the major reasons could be that,
the majority of people want to broaden their horizons. by discovering new Remove the comma
apply
culture
, customs and traditions. After living in Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
the
one place for a long time numerous inhabitants would like to have a change of scenery, as most of them Correct article usage
apply
became
bored Wrong verb form
have become
of
their countries. Change preposition
with
For example
, people who settle in
overseas frequently visit Change preposition
apply
attratctive
sites or escape from their primitive place where they used to be in order to start a new life from Correct your spelling
attractive
the
scratch.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, several people could have a problems
with cultural shock. As visitors Correct the article-noun agreement
a problem
problems
came
to the new country, they might face a cultural shock, Wrong verb form
come
as well as
a language barrier might bring a plethora of difficulties to them. For instance
, most newcommers
encounter Correct your spelling
newcomers
with
unordinary food samples and customs, which may Change preposition
apply
therefore
arouse a sense of home sickness
and isolation in them.
Correct your spelling
homesickness
To sum up
all the pros and cons of this
statement, I trully
believe that advantages prevail Correct your spelling
truly
drawbacks
, Change preposition
over drawbacks
due to
the fact that this
trend has became
widespread in numerous parts of the world, and it probably will continue.Change the verb form
become
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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. The current essay seems to diverge from focusing on the problems of old towns/cities and their solutions.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly with specific examples relevant to the topic of old town/city issues and solutions.
Coherence Cohesion
Work on creating a clearer logical structure. Although paragraphs are used, the connection between them and the main topic could be stronger.
Coherence Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to improve the readability and structure of your essay.
Coherence Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could more directly answer the exam question by focusing on the specific problems and solutions associated with old towns and cities.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates an attempt to use a range of vocabulary and to present personal opinions, which is good practice for the IELTS writing task.
Coherence Cohesion
There's a clear attempt to organize the essay into paragraphs, which shows an understanding of essay structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.