In many countries, students leave high school without learning how to manage their money. Why is that the case? What could be done to tackle the issue? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In a large number of nations, the youth do have not any information about how to manage their income, after finishing high school. I think because in the school we do not have
this
subject and to tackle it, the government could introduce a course to educate the young population in the money
field.
To begin
with, cash is a key factor in our daily lives and having this
item is vital, although
, the education system has not considered this
subject and the population has to learn it from their own experience. So the young citizens have to struggle with it and learn it gradually , as a result
, they might lose a major amount of cash and feel like an untalented person in money
management . For example
, buying expensive items requires negotiation skills to achieve the best offer because the owners always want to have more profit and a young boy/girl who has never been in this
situation , will accept the first offer and spend more money
compared to those who have experience.
In addition
, solving this
problem has a simple way and society should provide a course about how to deal with money
because our lives completely depend on wealth and as soon as we figure out how to deal with it we will be able to be more successful in future. For instance
, the governments could provide a plan for schools ,that scholars have some money
and they have to write a plan that how they want to use it and how they can invest it to be more profitable. Gradually they will learn how to buy and how to control their expenditure.
In conclusion, in my opinion, bill management is a vital aspect of our lives and we have to learn it from the first dependency stage of life because it will help us to develop better positions and make a reasonable amount of property by using this
major. Additionally
, society could solve it by proposing some plans that make students able to consider their fees and income.Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay more effectively by using clearer paragraphs and transitions to guide the reader through your argument. This will enhance the logical structure and flow of your essay.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. Real-life examples or statistics could strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on the clarity of your ideas by breaking down complex thoughts into simpler, more straightforward sentences. This will help in conveying your message more effectively to the reader.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Though creativity is appreciated, accuracy in language use contributes significantly to the clarity of your ideas and arguments.
task achievement
You have effectively communicated the importance of financial education for young people, demonstrating an understanding of the topic's relevance to modern society.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion nicely sums up the essay, reinforcing your stance on the importance of financial management skills and suggesting a constructive solution.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.