Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?
Today, patients have been investigating the best treatment for becoming healthy.
Thereafter
, Health services have been an initial essential, but unfortunately, these personal companies are extremely expensive, so the public cannot use these facilities. Linking Words
While
there are some drawbacks Linking Words
of
private Change preposition
to
hospitals
, I still believe that these cannot overshadow the merits.
On the one hand, there are various benefits of individual Use synonyms
clinics
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, privet Linking Words
clinics
are the best place for Use synonyms
people
whose treatment needs new methods and gadgets. These Use synonyms
places
are equipped with new equipment that other Use synonyms
places
do not have Use synonyms
due to
the fact that these Linking Words
people
spend a lot of money in these kinds of Use synonyms
hospitals
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, the hospital turnover is too high and can buy updates and nice devices. Linking Words
Secondly
, in massive Linking Words
accident
, these are the best Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
places
for helping public Use synonyms
hospitals
. Use synonyms
For instance
, for Corona epidemics from 2020 until 2022 both Linking Words
places
accepted sick persons, if they did not work with each other they were not able to handle the illness.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, the demerits of personal Linking Words
clinics
are varied. The price of these Use synonyms
places
has been really costly , so these Use synonyms
places
are not economical for the public and poor inhabitants Use synonyms
also
, if they need to go to private Linking Words
places
for treatment, Use synonyms
then
their preferences are cheap Linking Words
hospitals
. Use synonyms
In addition
, the natives with the lowest income died of Linking Words
this
problem despite , all the Linking Words
people
having access to good facilities.
In conclusion, it appears to me that the drawbacks of privet Use synonyms
hospitals
cannot eclipse the benefits. Notwithstanding, a number of Use synonyms
people
cannot go to privet Use synonyms
clinics
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of private healthcare. However, consider elaborating further on both sides equally to provide a more balanced response.
coherence cohesion
You need to enhance the clarity and coherence of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point, and use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
language
A few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings hinder the quality of your writing. Proofread your work and consider using more formal vocabulary to improve your essay's overall readability.
task achievement
You have made a clear distinction between the benefits and drawbacks of private healthcare, and your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
You have used specific examples to support your points, such as the reference to the COVID-19 pandemic, which strengthens the relevance of your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.