You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages? Write at least 250 words.
Today, patients have been investigating the best treatment for becoming healthy.
Thereafter
, Health services have been an initial essential, but unfortunately, these personal companies are extremely expensive, so the public cannot use these facilities. While
there are some drawbacks of
private Change preposition
to
hospitals
, I still believe that these cannot overshadow the merits.
On the one hand, there are various benefits of individual clinics
. Firstly
, privet clinics
are the best place for people
whose treatment needs new methods and gadgets. These places
are equipped with new equipment that other places
do not have due to
the fact that these people
spend a lot of money in these kinds of hospitals
. Consequently
, the hospital turnover is too high and can buy updates and nice devices. Secondly
, in massive accident
, these are the best Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
places
for helping public hospitals
. For instance
, for Corona epidemics from 2020 until 2022 both places
accepted sick persons, if they did not work with each other they were not able to handle the illness.
On the other hand
, the demerits of personal clinics
are varied. The price of these places
has been really costly , so these places
are not economical for the public and poor inhabitants also
, if they need to go to private places
for treatment, then
their preferences are cheap hospitals
. In addition
, the natives with the lowest income died of this
problem despite , all the people
having access to good facilities.
In conclusion, it appears to me that the drawbacks of privet hospitals
cannot eclipse the benefits. Notwithstanding, a number of people
cannot go to privet clinics
.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of private healthcare. However, consider elaborating further on both sides equally to provide a more balanced response.
coherence cohesion
You need to enhance the clarity and coherence of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point, and use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
language
A few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings hinder the quality of your writing. Proofread your work and consider using more formal vocabulary to improve your essay's overall readability.
task achievement
You have made a clear distinction between the benefits and drawbacks of private healthcare, and your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
You have used specific examples to support your points, such as the reference to the COVID-19 pandemic, which strengthens the relevance of your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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