In some part of the world, women are not allowed to vote. What is your opinion about this ?

In recent years, even though there has been a lot of development across various industries in terms of acceptance for
women
, fewer areas of the globe are reluctant to appreciate the female community. One
such
area of concern is
women
’s suffrage-the
right
of
women
to
vote
. I strongly believe that every citizen has equal
rights
and any discrimination based on gender must not be entertained. It is not ideal for any nation to deny a citizen to exercise his/her franchise. All individuals, whether male, female or any other gender have equitable
rights
to be partakers of the governance process. If a female is not exempted from paying taxes to the government,
then
she has the
right
to cast her
vote
too.
For instance
,
countries
like India successfully established equal voting
rights
when the constitution was
initially
created. It paved the way for creating successful
women
leaders not only in politics but
also
in other sectors like business, agriculture etc.
Hence
, to build a qualitative atmosphere, it is crucial for any nation to impose laws which consider all groups of society. To add
further
, the denial of
women
’s
right
to
vote
is directly the reflection of a nation’s attitude towards gender inequality. There should not be any specific agenda towards a community as it gives the wrong message to society and
consequently
develops a deprived group of individuals.
For instance
, voting for
women
is prohibited in Saudi Arabia and even they are restricted to appear in public and indulge in progressive conversations. Studies say that
women
are suppressed in
countries
which do not grant the freedom to cast a
vote
. Most of the developed
countries
eliminated
this
discrimination several years before.
Therefore
, to promote the growth of a democratic environment, it is vital to provide similar
rights
to people irrespective of sex.
To conclude
, allowing
women
to exercise their franchise must be strictly put in place in all parts of the world. Developed
countries
, especially leaders of democratic
countries
should come together and conduct healthy debates to make
this
right
implemented everywhere in the world.
Submitted by gloriasherin on

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Task Achievement
Try to diversify your examples and evidence further to support your points. While the references to India and Saudi Arabia are effective, adding a variety from more countries or contexts can enrich your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider linking your paragraphs and ideas more smoothly. Using a range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases would improve the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure every main point is followed by a detailed explanation or an example. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction sets a strong foundation for your argument, effectively presenting the issue of women's suffrage.
Task Achievement
The conclusion effectively synthesizes your argument, making a strong call to action which is excellent for task achievement.
Task Achievement
You've maintained a clear stance throughout the essay, which is great for task achievement.
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