In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

It has become increasingly common these days for people living in the same
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
to not know one another.
This
essay seeks to identify some causes of
such
and plausible solutions.
Firstly
,
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
cost of living is a major contributory factor. These days, commodities are expensive, and for people to be able to afford
such
, they work for long hours
Fix the infinitive
to
show examples
enable them
live
Add the particle
to live
show examples
comfortable lives. These days both men and women t
Submitted by nmaureen03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Expand the essay to further explore the causes and solutions for the lack of community. A good essay fully develops its ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure the essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, fully developed ideas in the body paragraphs, and a conclusion summarizing the main points.
Task Achievement & Coherence and Cohesion
Include specific examples and detailed explanations to illustrate your points. This strengthens the argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good job addressing the topic directly in the introduction and establishing a clear structure for the essay.
Task Achievement
You've shown the ability to identify underlying causes, indicating good analytical skills.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: