A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts say how you think the company should spend the money Write at least 150 words.
#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children’s #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing
this
letter to thank you for your spouse for rendering some money for social welfare, either giving out some currency for sponsoring the youth sports
team for two years or arranging open-air concerts.
If they provide money for local sports
teams, it will be lucrative because some children have talent but are financially weak and cannot afford training, thus
it will be a great opportunity for them. Furthermore
, it will be helpful to promote your brand name as well.
However
, if you have decided to arrange some outdoor concerts, it is also
a great idea as it will assist in promoting the talent of people to the public and get financially stronger. It will be a source of entertainment for humans and will promote culture and heritage.
Although
, spending money on both will be a positive development for society. However
, giving fiscal support to the local sports
club will be a better choice. Concerts are short-term entertainment sources but sports
are more profitable and will be remarkable for the future.
Yours sincerely,
Navneet KaurSubmitted by ss6802125 on
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Accuracy
Be mindful of minor spelling or typographical errors, such as 'spouse' instead of 'decision' in the opening sentence. These small inaccuracies can slightly distract from the clarity of your message.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on how sponsoring the sports team could impact the community beyond improving the financial situation of talented children, for a more rounded argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Using connectors and a range of linking phrases can enhance the flow of your letter. Try incorporating them more seamlessly to improve cohesion.
Task Achievement
Your letter effectively addresses all parts of the task, providing a clear argument for your preference.
Tone
You've used a formal tone appropriate for writing to a company, which suits the context of the task.
Structure
The structure of your letter is logical, with a clear introduction, development of points, and conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite