In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation

Nowadays, a

course

that is

based on

work

is becoming increasingly popular. In several countries, human beings are choosing it

besides

studying at

university

This

essay will discuss the pros and cons of

this

topic. On the one hand,

work

-based

education

is more short-term than

university

-based

education

. Most of these kinds of courses are provided by companies, which may guarantee

work

after

course

completion.

This

means, that the salary will be available after the

course

is finished.

Additionally

, a

work

-based

education

gives practical experience, which the

university

does not. In

this

case, young individuals may get

work

skills and knowledge, which will help them to adapt

Fix the infinitive

to job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

easily in the future.

On the other hand

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

gives more specific knowledge than a

work

course

and is more of a long-term study.

Furthermore

this

kind of knowledge is more respected and

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

essential to the companies.

As a result

, it is more possible to find a

high-paid

Correct your spelling

high-paying

show examples

job

Moreover

, universities give a bachelor's degree, which may outweigh a

work

-based certificate

hundred

Correct article usage

a hundred

show examples

times.

Consequently

, most companies require

degree

Correct article usage

a degree

show examples

only a certificate won't be acceptable, In conclusion,

work

-based training is an important and hot topic for young people today. On top of that, it gives them more short-term

education

than

university

, which often gives them a

job

and personal skills.

However

university

Add an article

the university

show examples

offers more advanced and longer

education

, which may be suitable for

high-position

Add an article

the high-position

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

job

and a good salary. From my point of view, it may be better to invest in yourself and attend

university

, because it offers us more better life than

work

-based training.

Submitted by sosokhurtsidzee on Sat Apr 13 2024

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Introduction and conclusion are well-defined, but ensure the body paragraphs are balanced in supporting both sides.

Language

Try to integrate more varied and complex sentences to enhance cohesion.

Content

Incorporate more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments and support your main points.

Content

Good job on presenting both sides of the argument, showcasing an understanding of the topic.

Structure

You have a clear thesis statement and conclusion, which helps in structuring your essay effectively.

Coherence

Your essay shows good logical flow from one paragraph to the next, making your arguments easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-based training
enrol
university
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills
experience
workforce
employment
earnings
opportunities
further education
theoretical knowledge
career options
exploitation
balance

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In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in order to succeed, people require certain personality traits. what are these traits? what else is needed

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside for children is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places for children to grow up?