Many museums charge for admissions while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admissions #people

It is a well-established fact that some

museums

charge for

admissions

Fix the agreement mistake

admission

show examples

while

others are free for

people

However

, there are both pros and cons

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

practice. Let's begin by looking at the advantages of admissions in the

museums

. One of the main positives of entrance fees is the fact that

museums

can buy more items for

people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

will visit them. What I mean by

this

is that better and

numerous

Correct quantifier usage

more numerous

show examples

exhibits for the museum could be bought with that money. And

this

will make the museum way more popular among the tourists and the local

people

Secondly

, another striking argument is that when

people

pay for something they tend to appreciate that thing more. The empirical evidence supporting

this

position is overwhelming. As an example, many

psychcological

Correct your spelling

psychological

studies show that in the behaviour of both children and adults. Turning to the other side of the argument when there are fees

less

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

people

can visit those

museums

This

leads to the fact that

people

with low income cannot visit them, even if they want to expand their knowledge on a certain topic or have a wider outlook. To put it in a nutshell, all the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

aforementioned reasons lead us to

Correct article usage

the

show examples

conclusion that both

museums

and visitors can benefit from a small admission fee for the entrance to a museum. Personally, I believe that the advantages of admission fees outweigh its disadvantages.

Submitted by intiqam.hasanov on Sun Apr 14 2024

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Introduction Expansion

Consider expanding your introduction by more clearly outlining your main arguments. This will ensure a strong foundation for your essay.

Linking Phrases

Try to incorporate a wider range of linking phrases and transitional words to improve flow and coherence between ideas.

Specific Examples

To further strengthen your argument, include more varied and specific examples. This can add depth to your points and make your argument more persuasive.

Conclusion Impact

Make your conclusion more impactful by succinctly summarizing your main points and clearly stating your position. This reaffirms the strength of your argument to the reader.

Balanced Discussion

Effectively balanced discussion on both advantages and disadvantages of admission fees in museums.

Example Use

Good use of examples to support your arguments, enhancing the clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.

Structure and Logic

Clear overall structure and logical flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many museums charge for admissions while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write a letter to the manager of the Lost and Found department of the railway regarding the luggage you accidentally left on the train. In your letter •give the details of your train trip •describe the luggage you left on the train •say what actions you want him/her to take.

Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world go hungry. why is this the caces? what can be done about this problem?

The use of phones, tablets, and other devices when people are walking in public is causing concern among many commentators. What dangers may arise when people focus on such devices when walking in the street? How could these problems be reduced?

In school or universities, girls prefer subjects related to art and boys prefer subjects related science. Should this tendency be changed? What is your opinion?