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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #advancements #lives #developments #loss #life #skills
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To be more convenient and simpler living. Nowadays,
technology
 is become a part of human lives. Many people
use
technology
 to comfort their
living style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 and to make lives easier, but some people argue that
technology
 is destroying important
life
skills
. First of all,
technology
 has grown up, and the advantages of
technology
 have been used in many societies
such
 as communication, healthcare and daily conveniences. Smartphones and the internet become a part of individual lives by using them to communicate in business,
with
Correct word choice
and with
show examples
 their family who live
a
Correct article usage
apply
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board. Internet helps to connect their socialise together.
In addition
, technological advancements assist with transportation in order to arrive at the destination on time, be more secure and many more.
However
, some
believes
Change the verb form
believe
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 that technological developments have led to a loss of
life
skills
 because many important
life
skills
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 valuable in a traditional
life
.
For example
, some individuals prefer to
use
 a hand craftsmanship or homemade products more than
use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
things from a factory cause handmade products are made with people's
skills
 and are highly valued by them. Or many
society
Change to a plural noun
societies
show examples
 prefer to
use
 bicycles to go to work more than a car to reduce air pollution. In conclusion, both ways depend on
individual
Correct article usage
the individual
show examples
Submitted by chabathips on

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents views on how technology affects our lives and skills, but it appears incomplete. Ensure your conclusion is fully developed to summarize your points and present your opinion more clearly.
Task Achievement
You have introduced both sides of the argument; however, expanding on why some believe technology leads to a loss of life skills with more detailed examples could strengthen your position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows a clear structure but try to use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas. This will help in achieving better coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Remember to complete your essay with a clear conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also explicitly states your personal viewpoint to fully address the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've done well in presenting both sides of the argument regarding technology's impact on our lives.
Task Achievement
Your examples related to communication, healthcare, and daily conveniences effectively illustrate the benefits of technological advancements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • simplifies
  • convenient
  • communication
  • healthcare
  • reliance
  • degradation
  • fundamental skills
  • navigation
  • manual calculation
  • social interactions
  • digital mediation
  • overly dependent
  • critical thinking
  • interpersonal skills
  • preserve
  • cultivate
  • complements
  • educational systems
  • social structures
  • technological fluency
  • life skills
  • mitigate
  • potential downsides
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