Some people think that advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because advertising makes individuals less satisfied with what they are and have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #effects #individuals

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The bargaining power of customers has been growing

due to

Linking Words

product competition.

This

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might force the industry to develop their

products

Use synonyms

and

then

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persuade the customer through an ambassador

that is

Linking Words

Add an article

an advertisement

show examples

However

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, some generations are affected by information in advertising without their knowledge. In my view, people gain more benefits than negatives when they consume

media

Use synonyms

carefully. Nowadays, the Demand for variety and quality of

products

Use synonyms

has been increasing because of advertisement effects.

Consumer

Fix the agreement mistake

Consumers

show examples

take information from

media

Use synonyms

and compare it with others

this

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cause impacts to manufacturing industry which has to innovate its

products

Use synonyms

to meet consumer demand.

For example

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, there are specific

products

Use synonyms

for men, women and children in cosmetics and other markets.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the advertising industry is motivated to develop communication with customers

manufacturers

Correct word choice

and manufacturers

show examples

because there are many types of

media

Use synonyms

these days

such

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as social

media

Use synonyms

and billboards. Thereby,

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

has grown by manufacturing and advertising industries which have to be developed through consumer ideas.

On the other hand

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, the elder generation who retire and spend time all day with advertising on

Use synonyms

. Most

Use synonyms

programs on midday are selling programs on

Use synonyms

which has been rising for 10 years in Thailand. People call these programs are

Use synonyms

shopping mall.

Besides

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, older people and unknowledge individuals are targets of

Use synonyms

shopping malls because They have a lot of deals and exaggerate about properties of

products

Use synonyms

that persuade these individuals to believe them. Herb supplements were popular in Thailand 3 years ago

due to

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the generation's trust benefits of supplements.

However

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, the negative side effects of the product exploded after that.

To sum up

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, in my point of view advertising motivates manufacturing and

media

Use synonyms

industries to develop and affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the economy but advertisements should develop under the act of defending consumers.

Submitted by baby11mystar on Sun Apr 14 2024

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Clarity

Ensure clarity in presenting your argument, avoiding overly complex sentences that may obscure your points.

Introduction

In your introduction, explicitly state the views you will discuss and your own opinion to prepare readers for your argument's structure.

Paragraphing

Use paragraphing effectively to separate distinct ideas and improve readability. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations.

Balance

Try to provide balanced coverage of both views before stating your own opinion to create a well-rounded discussion.

Conclusion

Enhance your conclusion by summarizing the discussed views and clearly restating your opinion, ensuring it reflects the analysis provided in the essay.

Use of Examples

You provided specific examples to support your points, such as the impact of advertising on the elder generation in Thailand, which enhances the persuasive power of your argument.

Engagement with the Topic

Your essay engages with both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the issue of advertising.

Logical Structure

The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear progression from introduction to conclusion, aiding the reader's comprehension.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Some people think that advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because advertising makes individuals less satisfied with what they are and have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measure can be done to address those problems?

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.