IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In previous years,
knowledge
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 was primarily stored in textual materials.
However
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, nowadays, the advancement of technology has significantly transformed the way
information
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 is preserved, as digital
platforms
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such
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 as websites, online databases, and cloud
storage
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 have become the dominant means of
information
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storage
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. From my own observation, the advantages of
this
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 development far outweigh the disadvantages that it brings about. Online
storage
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 systems come with notable drawbacks, namely intellectual property theft and the spread of viruses.
Firstly
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, the reliability of online content can be questionable, as anyone can publish
information
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 without proper verification.
Therefore
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, original writings or literary works can be reposted without permission, leading to a loss of ownership and recognition.
Secondly
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, online
platforms
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 are vulnerable to cyberattacks, making stored data accessible to malicious software or unauthorised parties.
This
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 not only threatens individual privacy but
also
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 poses risks to large institutions relying heavily on digital
storage
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.
As a consequence
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, online
storage
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’s drawbacks must be carefully considered and addressed. Despite the valid concerns of electronic
information
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 repositories, digital
storage
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 offers a wide range of advantages. The first benefit is that it enhances data safety and long-term preservation.
This
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 means that
information
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 can be protected from physical damage
such
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 as fire, theft, or natural disasters. The second advantage is that digital
platforms
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 can store and integrate various types of content, including text, images, videos, audio, and interactive tools.
Therefore
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,
this
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 enriches both the learning and research experience. As a matter of fact,
knowledge
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 about complex topics
such
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 as the solar system or cognitive science is often vast and can be divided into numerous subtopics. Writing it all down on paper would not only be time-consuming to read but
also
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 inefficient when locating specific
information
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.
Moreover
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, cloud
storage
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 offers economic benefits by reducing printing and transportation costs, making it an environmentally friendly option as well. In conclusion, there is an ongoing debate as to whether the development of
this
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 transformation will drive positive influences on storing
knowledge
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. As long as proper measures are in place to ensure content quality and data protection, the shift from books to digital
platforms
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 represents a major step forward in the way we manage and preserve human
knowledge
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but try to add a stronger personal opinion in it.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas could be better linked. Use more transition words or phrases to connect them.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more examples that are specific to support your points.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of your ideas is strong, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
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