IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. Discuss both views

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Some believe that students prefer to learn other
fields
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 next to the main course,
while
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 others claim that it is a paramount factor to focus on the main major. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both perspectives and present my view. On the
one
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 hand, some
people
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 justifiably argue that if
people
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 want to learn
one
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 field as a main major perhaps, they will face some problems in the future., indeed, knowing about
one
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 knowledge is not enough so they should know about others
fields
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 namely, computer skills, learning another new language even though analyze data.
Consequently
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, it led to drawing to the market as soon as they graduated. A
further
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 reason is that there are many
people
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 who are not interested in their main major so they do not have any good performance in their jobs. Had they known another field
in addition
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 to their main subjects, they would have had another alternative for changing their careers.
In addition
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, it is not necessary to find new majors in the middle-age.
On the other hand
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, another group argues that if
people
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 spent their time on other majors, they would not be professional in their
fields
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. they consist that students do not have to concentrate on the main major since they waste their time surfing other majors. I strongly do not accept
this
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 attitude. In my opinion, not only is it not time-consuming, but it
also
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 is practical,
whereas
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 being free of
one
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-dimensional,
for example
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,
one
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 of my friends has learned some
fields
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 by which she could find a wonderful position in a famous company. In conclusion, learning other subjects can have many advantages like having
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 reaction
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their jobs or changing the
mai
Correct your spelling
main

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coherence cohesion
Plan your essay to include clearer paragraph divisions. For instance, each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence outlining the main point of that paragraph.
task achievement
While you have covered both perspectives, ensure that your points are fully developed with more specific examples.
task achievement
Some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings are present. Review your sentences to make sure they clearly convey your point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points clearly and concisely.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives of the question prompt which shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your personal example helps in demonstrating the argument vividly.
task achievement
The points raised are generally relevant and address the task well.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows an attempt to create an introduction and a conclusion, which provide structure to your writing.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Holistic development
  • - Broadening perspectives
  • - Critical thinking skills
  • - Versatile and adaptable
  • - Job market
  • - Interdisciplinary thinking
  • - Problem-solving skills
  • - Academic performance
  • - Stress management
  • - Time management
  • - In-depth knowledge
  • - Expertise
  • - Resource allocation
  • - Core subjects
  • - Chosen domains
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