In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

It is believed that in some countries, renting a
house
is not as important as owning one. From my perspective, the positive aspects of
this
trend prevail over its negative ones. The following paragraph
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
shed light on my viewpoint. Admittedly, there are some rational grounds for refuting the topic in question.
First,
owning a
house
can be quite expensive for young people, whose majority are struggling with financial problems.
Hence
, not many people can follow up with the action of owning a
house
nowadays, especially at a time when the price of a
house
is increasing significantly more than ever before.
Second,
the financial burden associated with purchasing a home can trap
individuals
in cycles of debt and restrict their mobility, hindering opportunities for personal and professional growth.
Additionally
, the fervent emphasis on
homeownership
undermines the recognition of alternative housing options,
such
as renting, which can offer greater flexibility and affordability for
individuals
in various life circumstances.
This
narrow focus on property ownership disregards the diverse needs and preferences of
individuals
and reinforces outdated notions of success based solely on material possessions.
However
, the above argument
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
insufficient to overshadow the benefits of owning a home. The most pertinent point is that owning a home is widely regarded as a prudent long-term investment strategy, offering the promise of appreciating value and serving as a reliable asset for future financial security.
Additionally
, the ownership of a property empowers
individuals
with a profound sense of permanence and autonomy over their living space, enabling them to customize and enhance their dwellings to suit their unique preferences and needs without the constraints typically associated with rental arrangements. Another justification is that the emphasis on
homeownership
underscores a broader positive trend of economic empowerment and social advancement. By facilitating access to property ownership, societies can foster a more inclusive and equitable distribution of wealth, enabling
individuals
from diverse backgrounds to build intergenerational assets and secure their financial futures.
Furthermore
, the pursuit of
homeownership
can stimulate economic growth by driving demand for goods and services related to housing, thereby creating employment opportunities and bolstering local economies. In conclusion,
while
the cultural emphasis on
homeownership
may present certain challenges,
such
as affordability barriers and socio-economic disparities, its overarching impact remains undeniably positive. By nurturing a sense of stability, security, and personal
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
,
homeownership
not only enriches the lives of
individuals
but
also
contributes to the
overall
prosperity and cohesion of society. As
such
, fostering an environment conducive to
homeownership
should be recognized as a cornerstone of sustainable development and social progress.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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detail
To strengthen your essay, aim to present your ideas with a bit more depth, especially in discussing the advantages and disadvantages of homeownership. While you've offered a solid foundation, delving into specific examples or case studies could lend more weight to your arguments.
cohesion
Consider enhancing the linkage between paragraphs with more varied transitional phrases. This will help to weave your ideas together more seamlessly and improve the flow of your essay.
balance
Your essay provides a well-balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument before drawing a reasoned conclusion. This approach is commendable and reflects a mature understanding of the issue.
structure
You've done an excellent job of structuring your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization aids readability and helps to convey your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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