In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that in some countries, renting a
house
Use synonyms
is not as important as owning one. From my perspective, the positive aspects of
this
Linking Words
trend prevail over its negative ones. The following paragraph
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
shed light on my viewpoint. Admittedly, there are some rational grounds for refuting the topic in question.
First,
Linking Words
owning a
house
Use synonyms
can be quite expensive for young people, whose majority are struggling with financial problems.
Hence
Linking Words
, not many people can follow up with the action of owning a
house
Use synonyms
nowadays, especially at a time when the price of a
house
Use synonyms
is increasing significantly more than ever before.
Second,
Linking Words
the financial burden associated with purchasing a home can trap
individuals
Use synonyms
in cycles of debt and restrict their mobility, hindering opportunities for personal and professional growth.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the fervent emphasis on
homeownership
Use synonyms
undermines the recognition of alternative housing options,
such
Linking Words
as renting, which can offer greater flexibility and affordability for
individuals
Use synonyms
in various life circumstances.
This
Linking Words
narrow focus on property ownership disregards the diverse needs and preferences of
individuals
Use synonyms
and reinforces outdated notions of success based solely on material possessions.
However
Linking Words
, the above argument
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
insufficient to overshadow the benefits of owning a home. The most pertinent point is that owning a home is widely regarded as a prudent long-term investment strategy, offering the promise of appreciating value and serving as a reliable asset for future financial security.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the ownership of a property empowers
individuals
Use synonyms
with a profound sense of permanence and autonomy over their living space, enabling them to customize and enhance their dwellings to suit their unique preferences and needs without the constraints typically associated with rental arrangements. Another justification is that the emphasis on
homeownership
Use synonyms
underscores a broader positive trend of economic empowerment and social advancement. By facilitating access to property ownership, societies can foster a more inclusive and equitable distribution of wealth, enabling
individuals
Use synonyms
from diverse backgrounds to build intergenerational assets and secure their financial futures.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the pursuit of
homeownership
Use synonyms
can stimulate economic growth by driving demand for goods and services related to housing, thereby creating employment opportunities and bolstering local economies. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
the cultural emphasis on
homeownership
Use synonyms
may present certain challenges,
such
Linking Words
as affordability barriers and socio-economic disparities, its overarching impact remains undeniably positive. By nurturing a sense of stability, security, and personal
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
,
homeownership
Use synonyms
not only enriches the lives of
individuals
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
contributes to the
overall
Linking Words
prosperity and cohesion of society. As
such
Linking Words
, fostering an environment conducive to
homeownership
Use synonyms
should be recognized as a cornerstone of sustainable development and social progress.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

detail
To strengthen your essay, aim to present your ideas with a bit more depth, especially in discussing the advantages and disadvantages of homeownership. While you've offered a solid foundation, delving into specific examples or case studies could lend more weight to your arguments.
cohesion
Consider enhancing the linkage between paragraphs with more varied transitional phrases. This will help to weave your ideas together more seamlessly and improve the flow of your essay.
balance
Your essay provides a well-balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument before drawing a reasoned conclusion. This approach is commendable and reflects a mature understanding of the issue.
structure
You've done an excellent job of structuring your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization aids readability and helps to convey your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: