IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects?

The rapid growth in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 results in to consumption of flies as a supplement to their diet.
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
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 argue that creatures are harmful to eat
as well as
Linking Words
 gathering
insects
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 may pessimist environment. Meanwhile, the advantage of consuming
insects
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 is they provide a large amount of
nutrition
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. the major disadvantage is that it may be poisonous and hamper the environment. To commence with, bugs are considered as one of the highly nourished supplements as they contain a substantial quantity of proteins and vitamins. In the daily lives of humans, they require a hefty amount of proteins and vitamins so consuming
insects
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 helps to fulfil the daily requirements of
such
Linking Words
nutrition
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.
For instance
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, a popular supplement band in the USA called Optimum
Nutrition
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 uses an enormous quantity of
insects
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 to produce whey protein and multivitamins.
This
Linking Words
 kind of protein can be used as a supplement to fulfil the requirement of protein and vitamins needed for gamers and athletes.
On the other hand
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, eating
insects
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 is suspicious of citizens' health because they are poisonous. More precisely, flies are not created as food for humans to eat them because may spread numerous diseases as they are very harmful. In spite of that,
people
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 in China use grasshoppers
due to
Linking Words
 lack of nourishment which leads
people
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 to suffer from several fatal illnesses.
In addition
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, another negativity of eating
insects
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 is it may create a non-balance environment. In detail,
insects
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 help in pollinating crops.
For example
Linking Words
, if
people
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 start to eat creatures horribly it will massively affect agriculture sectors. In conclusion, the main positive of eating
insects
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 is getting the required sum of
nutrition
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the primary disadvantage is the harmful effect on health and nature.

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task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas and developing them fully in each paragraph. This will help you offer a more well-rounded argument.
task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the task. In this case, ensure that both benefits and drawbacks are explored equally.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between your ideas to improve coherence. This could include using a wider range of linking words or varying your sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which sets a good structure for your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both benefits and drawbacks, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
The examples provided help to illustrate your main points. For example, mentioning the use of insects in supplements adds credibility to your points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • food scarcity
  • edible insects
  • nutritional benefits
  • cultural barriers
  • psychological barriers
  • mainstream food source
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmentally sustainable
  • economic benefits
  • local farmers
  • health safety
  • allergies
  • pesticides
  • pollutants
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • regulations
  • hygiene
  • unforeseen consequences
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