Taxing Industries, corporates and individuals based on their environmental footprint is the only way to save the environment. Do you agree with the statement? Give your opinion.

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Nowadays, we cannot imagine our existence without
traveling
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travelling
show examples
. It is worth saying that some
officiels
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officials
diclare
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declare
declared
that more investments should be
done
Verb problem
made
show examples
in the railway system rather than in improving
autoroads
Correct your spelling
auto roads
autoloads
,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others think the other way around. In
this
Linking Words
assay
Add a comma
assay,
show examples
both, pluses and minuses concerning the issue will be represented. On one side, we live in an epoch when scientists are preoccupied with the
globel
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global
worming
Correct your spelling
warming
show examples
issue and developing railways may have some benefits to help reduce carbon dioxide emissions. Another argument in
favor
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favour
show examples
of trains is that modern
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
today, are much safer than automobiles or buses, which has been calculated statistically.
In addition
Linking Words
to
this
Linking Words
, they are much quicker
copared
Correct your spelling
compared
to their ancestors.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
contaperary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
contrary
e-trains are even faster than any auto transport.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, e-viechales do not produce CO2 or other harmful gases anymore. Another argument against railroads is that we cannot
erract
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retract
extract
them everywhere or at least constructing them is sometimes
rather
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rather a
a rather
show examples
difficult task
in contrast
Linking Words
to
erracting
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extracting
retracting
erecting
roads in the same areas.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if you are an owner of
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
viacheal
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Michael
, it is your own business who
go
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goes
show examples
with
or
Correct pronoun usage
you or
show examples
where to go. In
concusion
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conclusion
, both of those two
tranport
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transport
segments should be invested
and
Change preposition
in and
show examples
improved.
However
Linking Words
, experts should pay more attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
developing railroads and e-trains. It may well give people more choices and probably reduce CO2
emmisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
and other exhaust gases.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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Spelling & Grammar
Consider revising for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity, as errors such as 'assay' (essay), 'globel worming' (global warming), and 'contaperary' (contemporary) may distract the reader.
Language Variety
Use a variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate your language proficiency.
Supporting Examples
Clarify and expand on your examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could provide specific studies or data to support the claim that e-trains are faster than automobiles.
Argument Specificity
Be careful with the specificity of your arguments. Avoid overly broad or generalized statements without concrete evidence or examples.
Introduction & Conclusion
You have effectively introduced and concluded your essay, providing a clear opinion and summarization.
Task Achievement
Your essay engages with the topic's complexity by considering both sides of the argument, which demonstrates comprehensiveness in task achievement.
Logical Structure & Organization
You have organized your essay well with clear distinctions between paragraphs for each side of your argument, aiding in the coherence and cohesion of your piece.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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